As I’m sure you all know by now, UD Arena will be undergoing a much needed facelift. The expansion will take place over the next three years, with a focus on making the fancier spots fancier and ensuring that women have more than enough places to relieve themselves (the amount of toilets that women can squat over will increase by 80%).
Essentially, the U of D has decided to upsize the areas where the big swinging dicks congregate. The Flight Deck and Boesch Lounge will both see significant expansion as the Flyer donors have increased their mass over the past few seasons. In addition, the University promises “sleek exterior design” as part of the project, which surely means lots of neon and things that spin. Lastly, CUP HOLDERS!!!!!!!!!! (But only for the folks in the 100/200 levels, you animals in the 300s and 400s will continue to hold drinks in your hands like goddamn fools.)
Unfortunately, this expansion will not increase the amount of decibels the Arena can accommodate, but it surely promises to improve the gameday experience for dudes with 401Ks and women.
Tom Blackburn is a proud U. o' D. alum. He loses faith in humanity one day at a time, but not in you, you seem like you are all kinds of alright. Charter member of the T-Man fanclub.