Hey, Gang! The 2017-2018 is in full-swing, and while we are all familiar with the raucous confines of The Sweater Centre; many Flyer Fanatics will cheer on UD on the road. Whether you plan on checking out the mid-major action in Charleston, Pittsburgh or St. Louis, we’ve got you covered! The 2017-18 Blackburn Review Travel Companion is your guide to the best and worst destinations for this year’s road slate.
Kingston, Rhode Island, is a small village located within South Kingstown. In 1722, Kings Towne was divided into North Kingstown and South Kingstown, when New World hipsters decided that adding an “e” at the end of words was something that only those losers back home would do.
This was a time when locals were still a little uncomfortable about the actions of their fathers during the Great Swamp Fight, when South Kingstown was the site of the mass slaughter of hundreds of Native women and children. The area is likely haunted and history buffs can visit the battle site, which is described, quite erotically by Wikipedia as such; “The battle site is commemorated by a rough granite shaft about twenty feet high. Around the mound on which the shaft stands are four granite markers engraved with the names of the colonies which took part in the battle.”
Like any good New England town, Kingston and its surrounding area are flush with historic villages. UD Santa can ogle young maidens churning butter and hulking men forging iron using traditional methods. Bring the kids, they will be bored out of their minds, but can likely purchase tri-corner hats and replica muskets. No childhood is complete without a photo in the stocks.
There are several art galleries in South Kingstown and Beret Man will surely enjoy browsing the vast selection of nudes while pondering if the flower is a vagina.
Rhode Island, as a whole, is a very Italian state and I assume that URI’s student body reflects this. Due to the pre-spring break timing of this game, don’t expect to see much beautiful olive skin at the game.
Italians’ skin has a way of looking grey during the winter months, so don’t be alarmed if you think you see some black-haired zombies in the Ryan Center.
Much like our guide to Amherst a few weeks back, URI is a state school in the Northeast, so all of the students are slightly embarrassed that they go there. What’s up with there being good state schools scattered around the rest of the country, but there are none east of Pennsylvania?
Anyway, the reason people are hitting up Kingston is to watch the Fly Boys at an A-10 Sock Hop. Rhode Island inquired with UD’s athletic department as to how they prepared for last year’s net cutting (I told you they aren’t very smart), so the Rams are itching for a celebration. Hopefully they were told that Archie ran around with the scissors the entire game and we see Danny “I’m not crazy anymore, HIRE ME!” Hurley stab a basketball with some Fiskars in URI’s attempts to mimic Archie’s UD team.
As always, WARE RED and BE LOWD.
Thomas M. Ryan Center
- Capacity: 7,657
- Home of the University of Rhode Island Rams
- Rarely sells out
- Will host upcoming concerts by people I’ve never heard of; Khalid, Justin Moore & Cole Swindell
Best Bar: Mews Tavern (Features 69 beers on tap)
Best Restaurant: Tilly’s Cheesesteaks
Most Popular Tourist Attraction: Yawgoo Valley Ski Area & Water Park
Most Famous Alumnus: Michael Flynn
Hottest Alumnae: Allison Paganetti
Local Delicacy: Stuffies