Hey, Gang! The 2018-2019 season is in full-swing, and while we are all familiar with the raucous confines of The Sweater Centre; many Flyer Fanatics will cheer on UD on the road. Whether you plan on checking out the mid-major action in Olean, Philadelphia or St. Louis, we’ve got you covered! The 2019 Blackburn Review Travel Companion is your guide to the best and worst destinations for this year’s road slate.
It’s that time of year, when our beloved Fly Boys head to desolate Western New York to take on the Bonnies of St. Bonaventure University. As far as trips to frozen wastelands go, you could do worse than Olean, NY.
Illegally settled by Europeans in 1765, Olean was the site of an Indian Reserve designated by the Crown. No one really cared, but the Indians were likely not happy about it. Luckily for the newly arrived Euro-Trash, their smallpox, syphilis and influenza, likely wiped out any pissed off locals.
In the 1920’s, Olean became a popular stop-off point for the illegal shipment of liquor between New York and Chicago. Al Capone was said to have been a frequent visitor to oversee the operation, continuing Olean’s proud tradition of syphilis.
Much has been made of the infamous Yeti who calls Olean home, but if he is spotted, it is best to quietly hurry away. Unlike other wild creatures, making loud noises, making yourself appear larger, and playing dead, do not trick the Yeti; those tactics only turn him on. As a pan-sexual being, the Yeti has been known to fornicate with all genders and species, earning him the nickname “The Olean Sex Beast”. Throughout the years, the locals have increasingly embraced the Yeti and no longer fear the furry scamp. He is often welcomed into homes and given his pick of the family as a peace offering. Kinkier UD fans, like Beret Man, will be glad to know that the Yeti likes eccentric hats, so if he will likely be given a tour of the Yeti’s cave if they cross paths.
While he may look nice and the locals may speak highly of him, the Yeti is still an extremely-horny feral creature. If the Yeti alarm sounds during the game, it is recommended that you find the oldest man in the Reilly Center and do whatever he does. The old timers have never embraced The Yeti and the feeling is mutual.
When UD Santa isn’t watching the game at the petite Reilly Center, he can hit the slopes at Holiday Valley. A short drive up the road from campus, Holiday Valley is loaded with people from non-mountainous areas who are looking to shred the gnar. There are guaranteed to be many snow bunnies to leer at while drinking a hot toddy, apres ski.
There is a snow storm forecast to hit the area on Saturday, so if you are travelling to the game, drive fast and take risks. That is the best way to avoid a run in with the Yeti; unless you are into that sort of thing. Below are some other ways to both avoid and attract The Sex Beast. His peculiar sexual proclivities have been known to evolve, so this website takes no responsibility for the accuracy of this list.
- Home of the Saint Bonaventure Bonnies
- Capacity: 5,480
- Opened in 1966
- Has hosted nothing of note
- Contains many NIT banners
Best Bar: Don’s Semi-Friendly Tavern
Best Restaurant: Beef n Barrel
Best Tourist Attraction: Holiday Valley Ski Resort
Most Famous Alumnus: Bob Lanier
Hottest Local: THE YETI
Local Delicacy: Beef on Weck