Hey, Gang! The 2019 season is coming to a close, and while we are all familiar with the raucous confines of The Sweater Centre; many Flyer Fanatics will cheer on UD on the road. Whether you plan on checking out the mid-major action in Olean, Philadelphia or St. Louis, we’ve got you covered! The 2019 Blackburn Review Travel Companion is your guide to the best and worst destinations for this year’s road slate.
Long Island’s second most populous city, after Queens, is once again the site of the Atlantic 10 Tournament. Brooklyn’s mystique has been summoning people from around the globe for 15 years. Formerly known for its crime, both organized and otherwise, Brooklyn has seen a renaissance of late. Following a now patented formula, artists and musicians moved in around the turn of the millennium. They were drawn to the cheap rents, toxic waste, and seedy vibe; which, like the residents they displaced, have been pushed further east into less desirable locales. While the toxic waste, oil spills, and biological hazards aren’t going anywhere soon, the hipsters have also been pushed out. Whether they are now playing grownups in Park Slope or returned to Milwaukee, their utopia of Williamsburg and Green Point has been turned over to finance bros.
Outside of those neighborhoods, there are a couple decent areas of Brooklyn which some UD fans might want to visit. UD Santa can wait in line for pizza at Grimaldi’s. It isn’t that great, but after years of eating rabbit turd sausage in Dayton, he may blow a load consuming a real NY slice.
Beret Man should head to the Brooklyn Bridge. There he will find throngs of tourists overwhelming the pedestrian paths and drawing the ire of cyclists. If the weather is decent, some of those cyclists may be wearing skirts despite having tomatoes thrown at them as they pass through Hasidic neighborhoods. Don’t worry Beret Man, it’s okay to get horny looking at a skirted woman on a bicycle, just don’t try to ward them off by pelting them with produce.
Gowanus is an interesting area. The hipsters were first pushed there, with its auto shops and abandoned industrial areas, once they were pushed out of Billyburg. Their foothold has produced a throng of good bars and restaurants. Andy Tracy will surely recognize the Gowanus Canal, what with its being a literal river of shit flowing from its mouth. Spotting a Brooklyn White Fish (spent condoms) is a local tradition. Just don’t try going for a swim. The water regularly tests positive for STDs (SERIOUSLY!).
If you are itching to fight some UD fans for perceived slights against the program find somewhere private to take your beating. Brooklyn today isn’t the lawless area it once was. For every gangster, smack dealer and street tough looking for trouble; you’ll find a photographer, stay at home mom, and some dork from back home who is living off his dad’s hard-earned money. He may regale you with stories of how hard he works, while his entire existence is subsidized by his parents.
This and more awaits in Brooklyn. Its layout will remind you of Chicago if Chicago’s Loop was Downtown Dayton.
- Home of the Brooklyn Nets and NY Islanders
- Capacity: 17,732 (No idea how many it seats for a mid-major conference tournament)
- Opened in 2012
- Has a barber shop
Best Bar: Mission Delores
Best Restaurant: Peter Luger
Best Tourist Attraction: The Brooklyn Bridge
Most Famous Local: Eddie Murphy
Hottest Local: Pat Benatar
Local Delicacy: Roll-n-Roaster Beef Sandwich