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Welcome to another edition of Five for Flying™. After taking a year off, the gang here at the BR decided to bring it back. Why? No one will ever know. Blackburn claims that we get paid by the post. But if that is truly the case, we would write filler stuff like comparing a game to a past its prime TV show! Anyway, to try something different this year, we have recruited a faithful reader named Matt to help share the load on this pop culture/partly something to do with UD basketball post. So yeah, be gentle.
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1Don: The Flyers have been going at it for about a month now which means we can safely give out some quick grades so far. Coaching gets a B simply because Kid Yuma has had to deal with the Matt Kavanaugh situation, three freshmen playing valuable minutes, and rumors of his wife being an alcoholic and running amok at the bars in Centerville. The offense gets a C+ due to its inconsistency. Kevin Dillard and Vee Sanford have been so unpredictable that it is very tough to conclude if it is just a handful of bad games or if that is what we will see all year long.

Matt: Is this…is this when I’m supposed to talk? Yes? Ok. With the UD offense struggling as it is wonting to do, we can usually rely on solid defense and rebounding to pick up the slack. Well, some traditions are meant to be broken. A handful of the team stats look fine, like being 5th in the A10 in opponents PPG, but you can probably chalk that up to some bad opponents. Against Weber State, I watched from about 30 feet away as our D was consistently beaten by two white kids. Both of those things are negative indicators. Overall, I give the defense so far a C+, with optimism that it will get better as the freshmen start to come along. It’s scary to think that this team really misses Kav, but as sure as a positive Rape Kit, they do.

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2Don: It’s that time a year when college football is wrapped up, the bowl games are announced, and the Heisman Trophy is awarded. Let it be known here that despite what Blackburn will say on this site, the Heisman Trophy still means something. Blackburn (and Adam) will pretend that it doesn’t. However, Blackburn will still smile fondly on his memories of Tebow winning it, along with some bullshit “the SEC has won x amount in a row” talk while Adam will discuss the time he and I gave Troy Smith a well deserved reach around. True story. Anyway, the Heisman should go to the BEST player in college football. Is Manti Te’o the best player? I don’t think so. It’s not my ND hate (ok, maybe it is a little) but Jarvis Jones of Georgia is just as good, if not better. Is ND still undefeated if Te’o is not on that team? Maybe not, but they would have a good chance. That is why I feel that the award should go to Colin Klein. He was the best player on one of the best teams in the country. Johnny Football at A&M is a great choice too, but I think Klein did more with less than anyone else in the country.
Matt: The bowl season is upon us and it’s difficult to get jacked up. Ohio State is not eligible and the majority of the bowls are snooze fests. Don’t even get me started on the 40 day layoff until the National Championship. Ugh. College football sucked this year. Ohio State not being bowl eligible aside, there were no truly compelling teams or players. The best story was Penn State rebounding from (what’s my rape joke allotment here?). Everyone hates Notre Dame and the SEC (except for Blackburn and Secaur). There was nothing to root for. Then you want us to take almost 6 weeks away from your sport, then come back to watch sloppy, conservative, crap football in the BCS games? No. Oh, and we’ll be sure to tune in and watch Northern Illinois inevitably give FSU a game, because all these small schools do that just to make pundits look like assholes. The best bet is to probably watch A&M vs. Oklahoma, then call it a season. We can’t watch ND and Alabama. We just can’t.
Oh, I give my Heisman to Manziel. Nobody plays D in the Big 12, T’eo is a MLB, and Manziel at least put up historic numbers in a tough conference.
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3 Don: Blackburn and I were having a discussion the other day about karaoke which led to us talking about picking out songs on a jukebox at a bar. I loved going to Fieldhouse during the summer because it was rarely ever crowded and I could control the shit out of what used to be Dayton’s best jukebox. To me, the key to a key playlist is that it has to be a mix of oldies, 80’s, and a few new songs sprinkled in. You can’t go overplayed songs like “Don’t Stop Believing” because everyone plays that shit and it is overdone. If I had to pick out 5 songs that I would play all the time, they would be “Your Love” by Outfield, “Easy Lover” by Phil Collins and a black guy, “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen, “Over the Hills and Far Away” by Led Zep, and “Ignition” by R Kelly (only to possibly see a girl grind with a Dayton hobo).
Matt: This is a tough subject for me to offer any sort of positive input on, because I have spent a large chunk of my 20’s as a bouncer. And not just on weekends, but a lot of weekday nights that include college nights. Everything is overplayed to me. “Sweet Caroline” is the worst thing ever. I have always said Journey sucked before but now I would kill that Soprano singing asshole myself. I’m pretty sure the “Cupid Shuffle” was created to help us further laugh at white people. The main thing you learn from working in a bar for a long time, is that if you play a song on the jukebox, and multiple girls under the age of 23 get excited about it, you just played some shitty music. Unless it’s Hootie. Hootie still fucking rules.
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4Don: Have we seen the death of network TV? Of the top of my head, I can only think of two shows that I watch on network channels. Parks and Recreation and Happy Endings. Both shows are well written, hilariously funny, and have fantastic casts. Everything else on ABC/CBS/NBC/Fox? Pure shit. Which led to another discussion I had with some friends. What are some of the best shows that were on TV for less than 3 seasons? You gotta start off any list with either Freaks and Geeks or Undeclared. These shows were awesome back when Apatow was cool. If you haven’t seen either, check them both out. Deadwood would be up there because hey, did you know cowboys swore?
Matt: I would love to use this space as a soapbox to defend New Girl, but I’m pretty sure Adam would have an aneurysm. Outside of that, I still watch Parks and Rec, The Office and How I Met Your Mother (I can’t quit now. I’m in too deep), Big Bang, and Community (RIP?). Not exactly a murderer’s row. And with NBC vowing to do away with shows like P&R and Community, it’s only going to get worse. But really, who cares? Everyone has such specialized tastes now that we don’t need network TV to satisfy us. Why bother giving some crappy show on a network a chance when they are still churning out quality seasons of The League, Curb, or South Park?
I have had many enjoyed shows cancelled too soon over the years. It’s always a tough thing, because you can never figure out why other people weren’t watching (Hint: Americans are dumb). In addition to the shows Donoher mentioned, I really enjoyed Action (which plays late nights on IFC), Greg the Bunny (people remember the show, but never seemed to watch it. Shame. It was funny), Lights Out, Awake, and Tough Crowd (I don’t care what you think, this show was great and introduced the viewers to a TON of great comics). Also, let’s go ahead and head this off: Arrested Development no longer is eligible for this, since they are making new episodes as I type this.
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5Last topic, the UD student section the other night tried to join the trend of giant floating heads behind the backboards. Only they didn’t get it right. It was just blown up pictures of people’s heads. You know, as in square pictures. I don’t think a single one was right. This is a trend that we find annoying and funny. To be humorous though, it has to be some completely random head. They also got this wrong. We guess whatever gas they pump to the band to make them think wearing all those stupid hats during the game is cool has worked its way over to the student section. On the plus side, we’re completely sure we will get to hear Gangnam Style at every home game for the next 2 years. At least!