5 Things I Know (Week of November 16, 2009)
November 17, 2009 Don Donoher 
Another year, another chance for you all to hate me. I'd like to welcome back the faithful readers because without you, I'd be happy and confident. I'd also like to welcome the new readers. Fuck you all and the boat you came in on. Get your suntan lotion ready and let's get excited for Puerto Rico.
1.) I was in Mexico last week and was a distant memory during the preview posts. I admit that I rushed my answers to the questions and even forgot to answer some of them. Here are my predictions for the year. 12-2 in the non-conference schedule with losses to Georgia Tech and Miami. Yeah, call me a faggot all you want, Miami is better than most people think (see game vs UK). They always play Dayton tough, they have a better coach, and most of all, they have hotter girls. And before you say, "Yeah, but the guys pop their collars," just stop being a retard. The people that rip Miami are the people that did not get accepted there. Yeah, that means you BrownsFlyer. I kid, I love BrownsFlyer. I hate Tron Paul. In the conference, I see Dayton losing at least 3 road games (Xavier, Richmond, and Temple) and 1 home game (most likely Charlotte for some gay ass reason since they lose to them EVERY year. That makes them 24-6. Win at least 1 game in the A-14 tournament and they are 25-7, with an RPI of about 25, and they once again sneak into the NCAA at an 11 seed.
2.) Like I said, I went to Mexico for my honeymoon. I highly recommend it to anyone. Nothing like eating, drinking, and pretty much doing nothing all week while being pampered by men and women that put my Spanglish to shame. Secrets Capri in Playa del Carmen. Pamper your bitch by taking her there and you will have the upper hand the rest of your relationship. Trust me, I no longer have to double bag it when I have intercourse. Plus, there is a free porn channel in the hotel. In English too. I hate jerking it to foreign porn.
3.) We touched on this briefly in our podcast with Ray, but I will elaborate on Lebron James. Right now, I think it is 50-50 that he stays/leaves Cleveland. Every team can pay him the max money so that doesn't mean anything. The Knicks suck really bad so I doubt he will go there. Cleveland is maybe the 4th best team in the East (behind Boston, Orlando, and possibly Miami) so why stay there when the Magic (and Bulls) are just going to get better every year.? So to steal a page from Bill Simmons, I see James going to either Chicago or to the Clippers. And then the city of Cleveland dying. And me laughing all the way to hell.
4.) Brian Kelly will be the next coach at Notre Dame...in 2 years. Weis will somehow remain with Notre Dame next season and will be fired after they again go 8-4. Let's just put this out in the air and say what Notre Dame fans don't want you to hear. When ND hired Tyrone Willingham, they thought, "Look at us! We hired a black guy!" Then, when he started sucking ass he was all of a sudden not "a Notre Dame guy." Let's look at the facts. He was the ONLY coach in Notre Dame history not to finish his contract. Notre Dame hiring was race related and firing him was race related. Charlie Weis had 2 good years at Notre Dame...with Tyrone's players. Brady Quinn has been exposed as a fraud. Notre Dame is by far the most overrated sports program in the history of sports. The Chicago Cubs, of course, are #2.
5.) Tom and I have talked about this a little, but allow me to vent. How the FUCK is the Dayton/Georgia Tech game not on TV? Sure, I am going to be at work and it doesn't matter anyway, but come on. They recently showed a Duke/Coastal Carolina game on ESPNU and they can't put a game of two ranked teams on one of the 8 ESPN channels? Sure it's on at 11:30 in the morning and that is what, the 3rd hour of Cold Pizza or the 7th hour of Colin Cowherd, but still. Fuck you ESPN. I am jealous of the people in Dayton that get to watch the game on the Dayton CW. Maybe there will be some commercials for Gossip Girl and the delicious Blake Lively? Definitely hot. See what I did there? I changed things up.
Welcome back basketball season!
Reader Comments (18)
If Charlie Weis doesn't get fired this year then ND deserves him.
don't see 'bron playin second fiddle to kobe in LA. nor 'bron going to the house that MJ built. It'll be either the Brooklyn Nets or the Akron Cavs
the akron cavs? I dont get it, its not the 90's anymore when the played 30 miles south of CLE. Unfortunately and fortunately for the city, they play right downtown.
AND, why in the world do you care that the porn is in english? its your honeymoon, there should be no need for that
@RC Cola: you make a good point. Getting caught whacking it on your honeymoon is not worth the risk.
Also, Blake Lively is a total pro--look at her completely hitting her marks in that picture. BTW, i have no clue who she is or what she is famous for. I am old.
Comcast Sports Southeast (CSS) has picked up the Dayton - GT game and will broadcast it live Thursday morning at 11:30. In the Atlanta area, that is channel 45. I believe that CSS is carried on Comcast, Charter, and some other cable networks. It is not on Direct TV or Dish. To check if your cable company carries it, use the Channel Lookup tool on the CCS front page: http://www.csssports.com/pages/main
@AtlantaJohn: thanks for the info, i'ts ridiculous that ESPN will put Northeastern/Siena on ESPN proper at noon today, but we can't get UD/GT on ESPNU Thursday. I'm gonna write a letter and then never send it, that's how pissed I am.
1 thing I know ... If I went to Miami, Id have to hang myself or I would be anally raped by some frat dude.
Needless to say I turned down my acceptance to Gay (OH) and went to UD, a normal place.
I hope those faggots go 4-27 in their shitty conference and take comfort in getting their mouths urinated in by their cool frats.
John...I think you need to get your number straight. The percentage of guys in a fraternity at Miami is roughly 20%...the same at about every other school.
And I noticed how you didn't disagree with the hotter girls comment I made. It's ok.
@Donoher: Get your number straight. People at Miami are overwhelmingly tools. Roughly 90%. I will give you that Miami girls are hotter, on average, than UD girls. However, the ones that I have met are so fucking annoying, again, 90% of the time, that there is no way they can legally be considered a human being. At that point there are simply a piece of meat.
And don't give me that shit about going to bars and scoring constantly with ridiculously hot chicks. It simply doesn't happen for the vast majority of guys....especially ones that spend time reading about young black men. I would much rather have a decent amount of cute girls who are cool to hang out with than a bunch of hot chicks who can't tell you who the Vice President is. UD wins out in this battle easily.
Daddy D 1
Donoher 0
@ Don
I did get accepted at Miami, I didn't want to go there because I didn't want to have to buy my friends, where shirts with popped collars, go to 3 bars and get bombard with J.Crew catalogs.
Sorry to post Twitter replies here, but...
@Blackburn: Shout out to Jim Utter FTW
and Saginaw, Michigan's first son and former Temple great, Mark Mason, coaches Binghamton.
@Roseceaux: you, of course, mean Mark MACON. Jim Utter didn't respond, guarantee he is knee deep right now.
Come on man ... Miami people are tools, in general. I remember these kids wanted to party at our house one year and they were dressed to the nine and had bottled beer and I wanted to punch them in the face. They actually came in our house and offered us money (faggots) when they ran out of beer and then opened the fridge, saw only beast and turned their noses (bigger faggots).
They talked to ZERO girls and basically no one in general and stood in the corner circle jerking. I was accepted to Miami and I didn't want to go because it looked like the fakest bunch of pure bread assholes I have ever seen. College parties I dream of don't have girls dressed in dresses and bottled wine and bud light bottles flowing. Not to mention the gay ass polo shirts.
Yes, on a whole the Miami girls are hotter, but there were plenty of good looking girls at the U of D and they were actual fun. They weren't stuck up bitches who thought fun was sitting at a booth bitching about life and sipping martinis. Not to mention the hook up rates were amazing because you would see good looking girls beer bonging beast ... I went to Miami's campus once other than my visit ... for a UD game and my fucking god how lame was that place. Went to a party, $10 dollar entrance if you "weren't on the list" ... so we went to some bar and just watched the tools flow in.
Their tours preached greek life ... so I don't know what you are talking about. The tour guide made it sound like it was the greatest thing ever, however he didn't mention the spankings, sodomy and gay dress codes. At UD the tour said greek life is alive, but it is very small and you have a choice of what you want. Who wants to buy firends? Especially when everyone gets their own damn house.
Miami if full of punks ... 5% or less are normal people ... not to mention all their sports teams suck, their degree is not more valuable and their grass is perfectly green ... I like my campus to have mud and beast.
Also, its funny you root for UD Hoops over Miami Athletics ... its usually the gays that will root for a "frontrunner type" even though UD has never been ... so I don't totally lump you into this category. But I am positive there are tons of Yankees and Red Sox hats because "its cool looking" and they "follow the team" ... or Lakers shit, etc ... it just smells like that type of place
No chance Brian Kelly ends up at ND. His political background will kill any chance he has with the ultra-conservative leadership at ND. I look for ND to spare no expense and ship a boatload of money to Bob Stoops, Urban Meyer, and Jon Gruden in that order.
A PSA FROM MIAMI (OH)
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1924385
Came back to see if anything's changed--nope. Donoher still thinks Miami's a good school or something. Whatever. Still hates on Notre Dame. Going by your brilliant Miami-educated logic, I guess you didn't get in?