Boston's PR department is hard at workHello again, I trust the holiday season finds you well. The colossal matchup with New Mexico is imminent, just a few days away. But before then, the Boston University Terriers come into town tonight to collect a check and take a man-sized beating. Let’s not waste any time, as I am still recovering from celebratory excursions and you have probably forgotten all about the basketball Flyers.

All-Decade Team. Here is the undisputed All-Decade squad for your Gem City Cagers. If a case can be made for the inclusion of someone other than the five players below, I would love to hear it.

Ramod Marshall was my easy pick at the point. Silky smooth and long in all the right places, Ramod is the guy who made everyone around him better. A good distributor of the ball, a threat from the outside, and someone who came through in the clutch, Marshall was the obvious choice to run the show. If the game is on the line, Ramod is the guy I am drawing the last play for. Donoher tracked him down over the summer and found out that Marshall is currently a basketball coach for mentally handicapped (Donoher used a different term) kids. A class act on and off the court, and a world-class cocksman, Ramod was a complete player.

Tony Stanley was the last player I can remember that could create his own shot--and this was during the Oliver Purnell "pass it 'round the perimeter" days. Although he is probably regarded by some as a streaky shooter, T-Stan had the ability to make things happen on both ends of the floor. He remains UD's all-time freshman scorer, made the most three's in the program's history and finished sixth on the school's scoring list. Stanley was so vital to the Flyer's success that he easily got away with more shit than most players could. His kicking out the back window of a police car's window is legendary. Long may you run, T-Stan.

Easily the most hyped athlete to step on campus over the past decade, Wright showed flashes of brilliance before going down with an ankle injury halfway through his freshman season. Kountry Chris was named to the Atlantic 10 Second Team last season, and was selected to the preseason First-Team squad back before this year's campaign began. Although his legacy has not been firmly cemented for obvious reasons, Wright's arrival signaled the dawn of a new recruiting age in Dayton. In all honesty, I almost put Nate Green in the small forward slot simply because he was a force of nature the likes of which we will in all likelihood never see again. Then again, as any UD fan will probably tell you, Chris Wright can like totally jump real high and dunk and stuff, so of course he gets the nod.

The captain of the team, and the guy most likely to supply my girlfriend with bottled sperm once all the contractual kinks are worked out, is Keith Waleskowski. For those of you that never had the pleasure of watching the Whale play, just think of every white guy stereotype. Keith was hard-nosed, hard-working, smart and got the most out of his ability. The only good thing to come out of Alter, Waleskowski is just one of seven Flyers to score 1,000 points and grab 1,000 points in his career. Besides, you try denying the four-time winner of the "Shorty" Sharpenter Memorial Rebounding trophy. It's impossible. Waleskowski was like a homeless man's Kevin McHale. Only he was a lefty. And he was four inches shorter.

Sean Finn is the decade's best center by default, which isn't to say that he didn't enjoy a very productive career. Although his freshman year was a complete clusterfuck, which almost led Finn out of the program, the Shark turned the heat up his junior and senior seasons. Even with his first year completely wasted, Finn was still able to score over 1,000 points during his career. He is UD's all-time leader in field goal percentage at an astounding 65%. For those of you who don't understand the constant berating that Huelsman receives on this site, just try to remember that we once had a center who was able to block and alter shots, rebound with authority, and make just about everything inside of five feet. Trust me when I say this, you would rather have a cancer-stricken Sean Finn coming fresh off a chemo treatment than Kurt Hueslman on his best day.

Detox Rehab Mansion. Looks like Luke Fabrizius will be out until sometime next week as he continues to mend his injured knee. Some better news comes out of the Johnson camps, as MJ will likely see some action against the Terriers as his (ahem) “sprained” foot has apparently healed enough to play tonight. Chris Johnson, who is still recovering from being concussed against Presbyterian, appears to be physically ready if called upon.

Here is the quandary facing Brian Gregory. Does he suit up a still-recovering Chris Johnson against New Mexico later this week, or does he hold him out completely so he can play the “team wasn’t at full strength” card in an attempt to offset a possible loss in what will be UD’s last chance to impress before conference play commences?  This is why you get paid big bucks, BG. The Gem City is watching.

Paul Willie, Where Art Thou? Beginning the season with clutch performances against Creighton and Georgia Tech, many were of the opinion that Paul Williams was due for a breakout year. After putting up goose eggs against Villanova, Paul Willie came back strong against K-State and things were starting to look rosy for the kid from Hockeytown (how the blackest city in America became known as "Hockeytown" is something that sociologists continue to wrestle with. This is the city that produced Motown, Arena Rock, and was once the automotive center of the world. Now it is known for bearded white guys and thrown octopuses. Casey Kasem is rolling over in his grave, as his hometown has become unrecognizable).

By all accounts, it appeared that Williams was on the precipice of taking that next step and avoiding a sophomore slump. That's the thing with precipices, they are hard to spell and difficult to predict. Williams' play has been uninspiring to say the least. Statistically, Paul Willie hasn't taken a considerable step back. His percentages from last year, 33%-26%-62%, aren't that much different than the 35%-31%-76% he has put up this season. That being said, wasn't this guy supposed to bring some outside shooting to the table? His numbers over 43 games: 34% from the field, 28% from behind the three-point line, 71% from the charity stripe. Over his career, Paul Willie is averaging just 3.3 points per game.

The question then becomes: Can we honestly expect Paul Williams to drastically improve his production over the rest of the season, especially with a tough conference slate ahead? The smart money says no. Out of all of the sophomores, Paul Willie has improved the least. BR whipping-boy Luke Fabulous has routinely found his stroke this season, unfortunately leaving us with a discernable lack of material this year,  and Chris Johnson continues to build upon an impressive freshman season. Paul Williams, it's time you start earning that book money.

Know the Ledge. Incoming UD recruit Brandon Spearman has apparently studied eloquence under the doting tutelage of Kountry Chris Wright. The following is an entry from Spearman's Facebook account:

If you have absolutely no clue what any of that means, it's okay, we are here to help and enlighten. I ran the aforereferenced passage through my "Whitey McWhite Ebonics Translator 5000" machine (thanks Santa!), and this is what it generated:

Nowadays, black gentlemen are of unsound mind. There is a significant difference between being a casual acquaintance of mine and being a dear friend. If black gentleman take exception to the manner in which I conduct myself, I implore them to please bring it to my attention immediately. Again, and I cannot stress this enough, please direct your questions and concerns directly to me and not my steady girl or any of my associates. Lastly, I'd advise you to reevaluate your current course of action, as it may lead to a troublesome situation in the near future. 

Well then, now that we are all a little bit more in tune with the comings and goings of Mr. Spearman, let's focus our collective attention on the Terriers of Boston University.

A proud BU alum enjoying the artsAlumni Roll. In addition to a remarkably extensive list of Pulitizer Prize winners, Governors, Senators, Representatives and corporate CEO’s (which, let’s be honest, no one gives a shit about), BU sports a notable alumni catalog. What if I told you that George Constanza and Joan Baez attended Boston, does that do anything for you? How’s bout the bald guy from The Shield and MLK? Still not impressed? Do the names Geena Davis, Rocco DiSpirito, Olympia Dukakis, Faye Dunaway and Ginnifer Goodwin tickle your fancy? No? Christ, for someone that graduated from a school most well-known for hosting the NCAA tournament play-in game you sure are hard to impress. Okay, well I will have you know that Julianne Moore, Rosie O’Donnell, Pee Wee Herman, Jeffrey Ross, Howard Stern and Marisa Tomei graduated from Boston U. as well.

Although UD does have the deserved notoriety that comes with producing Jon Gruden, Dan Patrick, Father Guido Sarducci and the fat guy who used to pronounce words at the National Spelling Bee, Boston University’s list of prominent graduates makes Dayton look like a correspondence school. Do yourself a favor and check out Boston University's Wikipedia page to gain a more expansive insight into the type of talent BU has routinely produced. It will blow your fucking mind and call into question whether or not the University of Dayton should be permitted to operate as an accredited educational institution.

Lil’ Nova. Terrier head coach Pat Chambers fancies himself as the second coming of college basketball’s reigning poofer Jay Wright. Chambers precipitous rise is remarkable considering the episodes of unforeseen events that culminated in his becoming the head man at BU. Chambers was plucked from obscurity by Wright while he was an assistant high-school coach at Episcopal Academy, a prep school located in the Philadelphia suburbs. At the time, Episcopal had arguably the best one-two punch in high school basketball with guards Gerald Henderson and Wayne Ellington leading the charge. Nova was recruiting the tandem and hired Chambers as the “Director of Basketball Operations” (apparently someone has to keep track of basketballs and ensure that each player’s checks are deposited in the correct bank accountsOutside of the neck stabbing, a very fortunate man—usually belonging to a distant uncle or aunt.) in a conspicuous attempt to lure Henderson and Ellington to Nova Nation. Of course, Henderson signed on with Duke, Ellington packed his bags for Chapel Hill, and Wright was stuck with a pasty 33 year-old who had little experience in doing much of anything, let alone coaching basketball on the division one level.

Fast-forward five years.  Over that time, head assistant Fred Hill left Nova to take the head job at Rutgers, and Brett Gunning, who had been Jay Wright’s right-hand man since his days at Hofstra, absconded to the NBA. Jay Wright took a look over his shoulder at the beginning of last season and realized that Chambers was now the most senior assistant on his staff.  In May of 2009, Chambers takes over as BU’s head basketball coach. From assistant high-school coach to head coach on the D1 level in less than five years, a pretty fortunate chain of events for Chambers. The obvious comparison to make here is with Kansas State’s Frank Martin. Martin was hired under dubious circumstances yet has proved to be a recruiting virtuoso and a decent coach. Chambers certainly didn’t inherit a program on the level of Kansas State, but he does have the opportunity to prove that he is more that a recruiting tactic gone awry. Besides, it's about time an unqualified white guy got a break in this country, isn't it?

Not to belabor the point, but just how blessed is Chambers? I think the following passage will put things in perspective.

Seriously, just how lucky is this guy? Of all the people his attacker could have possibly picked, he chose him. What are the odds? Talk about being born with a horseshoe up your ass.

Meet and Greet. The Terriers come into tonight’s game with a 5-6 record. Boston was present and accounted for at the Puerto Rico Tipoff, winning a game against Indiana and losing to Georgia Tech and Kansas State. A cursory look at BU’s schedule reveals losses that are more than respectable. Iona, Georgia Tech, Kansas State, George Washington, Harvard and UConn account for their six defeats. The wins are…not as respectable. Indiana, Northeastern, Bucknell, Marist and Mount Saint Mary’s are not exactly a murderer’s row.

Notwithstanding their current resume, the Terriers were the preseason pick to win the America East Conference (a selection that was made easier with the implosion at Binghampton, who many felt were the co-favorites before the program was torn asunder). With four starters returning from last season’s team, first-year coach Pat Chambers inherited a team that is flush with talent, experience and moxy. This is Boston’s last non-conference game, as they open up America East play with Desmond Adedeji’s Stonybrook Seawolves on January 2nd.

Boston has two members of the America East preseason First-Team in John Holland and Corey Lowe. Holland, currently averaging 20 points in 35 minutes per game, is the undisputed leader of the Terrier squad. Expect the junior wingman to play big against Dayton, as he seems to raise his game a level against better competition. Holland scored 20 against Kansas State, 23 in the Georgia Tech game and dropped 23 on UConn in Gampel Pavilion. He is about as gun-shy as Ted Nugent. Holland scores his points from the perimeter and by drawing fouls driving to the glass (averages around 8 foul shot attempts per game). Lowe’s percentages, 34%-30%-69%, are underwhelming, but the senior point guard does a little bit of everything to make the Terriers better. Lowe is averaging 15 points, 5 assists and 5 rebounds on the year. Is he a mini Scottie Pippen? I honestly don’t know. You were the one who said it, not me.

O'Brien, the new Tony Gaffney?Coach Chambers scored his first victory when he was able to convince sophomore forward Jake O’Brien to stay in New England for the upcoming season. O’Brien flirted with the idea of transferring at the end of last season’s campaign, possible destinations included Xavier, Butler, Miami and St. Joe’s, after former head coach Dennis Wolff was summarily dismissed following a 17-13 (11-5) season. I have to admit, if I knew an Irish-Catholic kid from Boston was looking for a new home, I would have been the first to pony up his under-the-table donation (O’Brien, quite obviously, would have been next in line). The reigning America East freshman of the year, O’Brien has picked up where he left off last season, averaging 13 points and 7 rebounds through 11 games. If you think this cat might be the latest BR crush, you are definitely picking up what I am putting down.

Tyler Morris is BU’s shooting guard. He is as shifty as a coyote on mescaline and as stubborn as a mule with Alzheimer’s. Morris is what we call in the industry a “perimeter player.” Check out these percentages: 39%-44%-93%. He is more accurate from 20 feet than he is from 10. He is the bizarro Chris Wright. Those percentages indicate that Morris is not adept at creating his own shot. When your three-point percentage is almost 10 points higher than your two-point percentage, you are more than likely not comfortable off the dribble or driving to the basket. Morris averages 12 points, 3 boards and 3 assists.

6’9” sophomore center Jeff Pelage will likely start but not do too much damage, which is exactly what Chambers is telling his team about Kurt Huelsman. If a full-scale brawl breaks out, Pelage is the guy you want to avoid most. He is likely to shoot only under duress, not by choice. Pelage has hit 38% of his shots from the floor, and just 36% of his foul shots. Those are just unconscionable numbers.

BU will employ a three guard attack for most of the game. In addition to Morris and Lowe, senior Carlos Strong will get significant playing time against the Flyers.  He is a gunner, with the majority of his shots coming from behind the arc (43% 3FG). Valdus Sirutis is a 6’7” senior forward just looking for a good time. Like most Lithuanians, Sirutis does not have any skills that translate to the basketball court. I would expect Sirutis to constantly look out of place, set plenty of moving screens, and push out a two-flusher after the game. Last, and possibly least, is the Terrier’s lone freshman, guard B.J. Bailey. Bailey was born in Atlantic City, so you know his story has no chance of ending well.

The Numbers Game. Eleven games in, we can start sucking the marrow from the statistical bones.

		PPG	FG%	FT%	3P%	RPG	ORPG	DRPG	APG	TPG	SPG	BPG	FPG
	BU	70.9	38.7	71.8	34.1	37.2	11.6	25.5	10.8	16.4	7.4	2.6	24.7
	UD	70.1	45.4	66.7	34.1	35.1	11.5	23.6	14.7	14.5	6.4	2.5	19.6
	BU Opponents	74.5	43.7	69.4	33.3	38.2	10.8	27.4	13.0	16.2	7.4	4.5	21.5
	UD Opponents	63.4	42.1	65.8	34.0	32.8	10.5	22.4	11.8	15.7	5.6	2.3	19.2

Boston is just a woeful shooting team, absolutely gash from the outside. How horrible is BU's offense? Observe: #316 in the nation in field goal percentage, #252 in points-per-possession, #308 in assist-to-turnover rate, #345 in field goal point percentage. The list goes on and on. So, how does a team with BU's offense put up 70 points a game? By getting to the line and putting up a lot of shots--specifically from three-point land. BU averages 74 possessions a game, good enough for 38th in the nation.

Albuquerque, NM. Jan. 1st, 2010. 11:00 am.Prediction: Boston comes into the Arena with something to prove. Without a substantial victory on its platter, the Terriers will be treating this game like World War III. Boston, as the clear underdog, will play the part of the Americans, while Dayton, the heavy favorites, will be portraying the Chinese. Let’s not downplay the effect the look-ahead factor could have on this game. I’m confident that at least half of the team realizes that a huge game against a ranked opponent is just a mere three days away. I am almost certain that Brian Gregory knows that New Mexico is lurking behind the shadows, although how this affects tonight’s game plan remains to be seen.

The problem with BU is that they are so undersized, just too goddamn small. They are not a threat to outscore UD, they are not a threat to outrebound UD, and they are not a threat to defensively control UD.  I see Dayton breaking 75 and Boston scoring under its average. The Flyers win this one going away, 79-65. Chris Wright leads all scorers with 17 points; Rob Lowery is due for a breakout performance and tonight is the night. Rob Low breaks a sweat, leaving the Arena with 13 and 7.  Due to budget cuts, the entire team must leave directly after tonight's game in Devin Searcy's SUV, arriving in New Mexico a mere hours before Friday's tip. The squad emerges from Searcy's car with an impressive 64 urine-filled Gatorade bottles.