Recon: Duquesne University

Remember the first time you nailed a fat chick? I don’t mean a chubby girl; I mean a certified fat chick. Like the kind that the guy was thinking about when he created the “No Fat Chicks” bumper sticker. I do. It was the summer of 1981. Unfortunately, none of us had the foresight to nickname her “The Refrigerator,” since William Perry did not break onto the scene for another three years. She was a certified heifer though. I was hammered and I was 16 and I threw out a cheesy line to her beautiful friend about taking a walk on the beach. Her friend deflected it, and Sumo-girl grabbed it (and me) and ran.

Under the boardwalk in Seaside, NJ. I vaguely recall her lifting up various folds of gut/thigh jelly in order to fish out her granny drawers. Frankly, I was still thinking about how lucky I was to be having sex with anything at all. If it had been daylight, I’m sure protesters from GreenPeace would have been circling the beach in a rubber dingy, trying to prevent me from harpooning her. The combination of alcohol, sweat, sand, and her gravitational pull (she rivaled the moon for effect on the tide), conspired with my inexperience. It wasn’t pretty, but I got the job done.

This game will not be like that. This game will be like seeing that fat chick again, while sober, and realizing that you are on some (im)moral level contractually bound to go through the same motions again. The light of day and sobriety can be harsh.

I don’t want to play this game, you guys don’t want to have to play this game, but here it is. The only question is, “Who’s the fat chick?”

Overview:  I was doing a little research on the upcoming game, and found that Dayton has not won at Duquesne since George W. Bush was president! When you start to measure a team’s futility by the succession of presidents, you are looking at some impressive historical numbers. I can’t imagine that there are many – if any – longer active streaks. It’s one of those things that must pervade the psyches of the fans, coaches, and players alike. Junior guard Kevin Dillard has never won a game at Duquesne. I’d imagine that they’ve been close. Sometimes losing with more talent and sometimes fighting valiantly with much less talent, a short bench, a brand new coach, and a 6’9” forward who can’t make a wide open layup off of a brilliant feed… but they’ve lost nonetheless. It must get into the heads of the players when the Duquesne fans shout “Bush! Bush! Bush!” from the stands even when the cheerleaders are not on the floor.

It’s hard to imagine that this particular streak has been extended this long given the various circumstances surrounding the series. There were unquestionably some UD teams that at the very least matched up well with the Dukes on paper, and even a few years where the Flyers seemed to have the upper hand going into the game in Pittsburgh. Yet, Dayton hasn’t been able to close the deal on Duquesne’s home court for quite some time. No upsets, not a buzzer-beater, nor a single Duquesne collapse. That’s remarkable, so much so it almost defies the odds.

Losing to Duquesne should not be okay. It’s not like an afterschool special when the music rises and everyone realizes that it’s “okay” for your parents to be poor, or divorced, or Jewish. The Flyers must find some way to break this curse.

Fortunately for them, the 2011-12 Dukes will provide ample opportunity. While the Flyers have had an up and down season like a boat riding from swell to trough, the Dukes season has been on and off like a hyperactive kid on RedBull flipping a light switch in the basement. In the past 10 games, the Dukes have gone 5-5. Their five wins have been by an average of 9.5 points, and their five losses have been by an average of 19.5 points.

What does this tell us? Not a whole lot of anything. Either team is capable of playing well. Either team is capable of playing poorly. Both teams are tied at 6-6 in A-10, with the Dukes holding the head-to-head tie breaker. Looking ahead, Dayton is still going to split their Richmond/GW matchups, just as Duquesne will split their Charlotte/GW matchups. It looks like these two teams are playing in the 8-9 game in the A-10 tourney, it’s just a matter of whether it will be played in Pittsburgh or Dayton. The advantages of a home game are fan support for the first 37 minutes until the gray hairs leave, and hopefully a favorable call or two from the refs. The advantages of a game in Pittsburgh are being closer to civilization, and a more well-toothed audience.

I’m sure that if I perused around the websites, someone, somewhere still has the Flyers in the big boy tournament. They’re tougher to kill off than Rasputin. However, another loss to the Dukes and they’re sharing a bathtub with Whitney Houston.

Meet and Greet, Again: As with the earlier game, the Dukes still have no effective inside presence. Andre Marhold and Mamadou Datt will spend some time at the center position. If Kavs the Klown catches the ball, it’s a guaranteed 1.5 points. If the Dukes deny the entry pass, as they did well in the game at UD Arena, it could be another fruitless evening on the court and with the ladies.

Sean Johnson, the Dukes’ 3rd guard or small(est ever) forward has had a Paul Williams-esque turn of events lately. Earlier in the season, he forced his way like a football letterman in the backseat with a drunken flag twirler. He either scored at will or passed off to a willing teammate. In the past few games, he has been getting shut down and shooting blanks (much like me in high school in the backseat with a drunken flag twirler).

In fact, the Dukes offense in general has grown stagnant. Due to the lack of a dependable inside presence, they have relied more and more on an offense resembling the BG weave. It is not pretty from the other side either, believe you me. The Dukes have been hoisting 3 after 3 after 3, and are subject to the same cold shooting and ineffective time management as the old BG teams. However, in conference play, they are hitting 36% of their threes.

The two biggest statistical differences between the two teams are free throw percentage and rebounding. Dayton has the solid advantage in both areas. Dayton hits free throws at a 79.8 percent rate, which ranks 2nd in the conference and 6th nationally. The Dukes hit at a 63.5 percent rate, which ranks them last in the conference and 307th in the nation. That’s embarrassing. Dayton doesn’t have the bodies to foul at their leisure, as this may extend the playing time of Ralph Hill.

By the way, how many “coming out” parties are Ralph Hill, Devin Oliver, and Kavs the Klown going to have? They have the consistency of Rick Santorum’s sexuality. It’s hard to blame the players – or Santorum – for their confused identity. That’s who they are. It’s really the fans who need to latch on to one side exclusively and deny the other that create the chasms of misperception. It’s like the local imbeciles who only see LuKKKe hitting threes and deny his missed bunnies and paraplegic-matador defense and in turn beg for more playing time (Holla back, tman!)

Prediction: It is impossible to predict this game based on this season’s performance for either team. Dayton has toughened up and has been able to take both Xavier and Fordham into overtime periods. Duquesne has been equally schizophrenic. Therefore, I’ll have to rely upon historical projections. Historically, Dayton wins tough games and then blows games to teams they should beat. Historically, Duquesne plays to the middle (though better at home), and then folds down the stretch (especially in rematches).  In reality, it’s not about basketball at this point for either team. It’s more about damage control. This is a game that Dayton should win, but I’m going to go with the Dukes by 4.

Xavier Recap: 27...

It wasn’t a question of whether UD would lose its 27th straight game at Xavier, but in what heart-wrenching fashion it would do so. Count this one as one of the most entertaining and evenly fought games in the storied series. Ultimately decided by the star of each side, the contest came down to the final possession of overtime as a Kevin Dillard three-point attempt went long at the buzzer. Dayton fought valiantly, closed the gap when Xavier looked in control, but couldn’t find a way to escape with the victory. Xavier extends the streak, winning 86-83 in overtime.

Although Mark Lyons, Paul Williams and Chris Johnson all had their say, there was no question that Kevin Dillard and Tu Holloway would have the final word. Holloway was assertive in the first half, harkening back to days of yore (a.k.a. the time period before Kenny Frease got suckered punched by Yancy Gates). Holloway took his foot off the gas a bit in the second half, before reving things up again over the last ten minutes of the second half.

Matt Kavanugh was left alone for an easy layup, bringing UD to within one, 54-53. Holloway reeled off nine points in a row to increase X’s lead to 63-59 with just over eight minutes to go. The Muskie’s pushed the margin to 66-61 on an Andre Walker foul-shot before Paul Williams responded with a three from the corner to cut the lead to two with four minutes to go. The two teams battled back and forth and were all tied up when Chris Johnson, who erupted in the second half, nailed a three to tie things up at 71 with just one minute remaining in regulation.

Travis Taylor was fouled and went to the line looking like he was just picked off the street and placed in a police lineup. Taylor managed to sink one and UD had possession of the basketball, game on the line. CJ drew a foul, hit both attempts and suddenly Dayton had a one-point edge and Xavier was down to their final bullet.

Chris Mack could have opted to draw the play up in the middle of UD’s huddle; it wouldn’t have made a difference. Everyone knew where the ball was going and where it would end up. Xavier got the ball in Holloway’s hands and watched as the senior guard drove into the heart of Dayton’s defense, kissing an acrobatic runner off the glass for two. And a foul. Chris Johnson, who switched onto Tu off a screen at the top of the key, was whistled for the harm. After his teammates helped Tu carry his humongous balls to the foul line, he calmly sank the freebie and X had a two-point lead with 11 seconds on the clock.

In past seasons, I’m not sure what UD’s final effort would have looked like. A fadeaway three from the corner probably, but that’s just pure guesswork. I just know it would have been a broken play that ended with a contested shot that missed the mark.

Dayton’s point-guard this season is Kevin Dillard. With Kevin Dillard, UD had a shot. With Kevin Dillard, UD had a player mentally capable of putting the game on his back and not shying away when the light is brightest. With Kevin Dillard, UD finally has a player that, like Holloway, has trouble fitting his immense testicles in his shorts.

Dillard could have come over to the X huddle before play resumed and simply told the Muskies, “Guys, I’m going straight to the rim. Going right.” It wouldn’t have mattered. Like the Fordham game last weekend, Archie spread the Flyers out and let Dillard do the rest. KD received the ball from Chris Johnson, dribbled a few times and drove head down to the hoop. Dillard laid it high off the backboard and with the stillness of a serial killer, watched it drop through the net. Overtime.

Pretend that you didn’t watch the game after Dillard's buzzer-beating layup and I told you the following players scored for their respective teams during overtime:

Dayton: Paul Williams, Matt Kavanaugh and Luke Fabrizius

Xavier: Mark Lyons and Tu Holloway

There’s no way you would have assumed UD won, and you’d, of course, be correct.

Xavier didn’t want Dillard or Johnson hurting them in OT and they accomplished just that. It’s telling that every assist for UD was credited to either Dillard or CJ – Xavier hawked the duo and forced someone, anyone, else to beat them.

On the other hand, Dayton didn’t want Lyons or Holloway leading the way for Xavier in the game’s final five minutes. Outside of a few Dez Wells drives, X had little else to rely on all night. Yet Dayton couldn’t stop the pair. Holloway hit a ridiculous turnaround three-pointer at the top of the key to give Xavier a four-point advantage at the two-minute mark. Every Dayton fan in the building surely knew the game was over at that point, or at the very least should have.

Holloway closed the game out with four straight free-throws (there may have been a point-blank missed layup by Luke Fabrizius during that time, still not sure that actually happened) and Dillard’s prayer at the buzzer went unanswered. Xavier wasn’t the better team, but Tu Holloway, who went all 45 minutes, scored 32 points, dished 5 assists, grabbed 6 boards, remained ice-cold from the stripe, was the best player on the court. And tonight, that’s all that mattered.

Charlotte Recap: No Bears Were Shot

Poison be damned, Chris Johnson just keeps rolling. The senior, making one of his last appearances at UD Arena in the home whites, led the Flyers to a75-65 victory over Charlotte. CJ finished the game with 22 points and 9 rebounds. Johnson has been in great form since the St. Joseph’s game, the Duquesne game appearing to be an outlier, averaging 17.3 points since the loss to the Hawks. CJ has had a very erratic season, but his current play could prove the difference over the next two and a half weeks (yup, just seventeen days until the Flyers close up shop against George Washington.)

After an uneven first half which saw the Flyers down three at the break, UD jumped out to a quick start during the second frame, taking a five-point lead on a Josh Parker three-pointer with just over fifteen minutes to play. The Niners and Flyers were within striking distance of each other when a terrible foul by Dillard resulted in three foul shots for Charlotte. Jamar Briscoe converted all three and Dayton was down a point as Dillard headed to the bench with his fourth foul.

Dillard’s absence was like a momma bear leaving her cubs behind in a cave, surely her spawn would be shot in the face, one by one, and hung over a fireplace in someone’s ranch. However, the Flyers hung tight and managed, on some timely shooting, to outscore the 49ers 29-18 the rest of the way to earn their sixth league victory.

Devin Oliver had a bit of a coming out party tonight, finishing with 14 points and 6 rebounds in 31 minutes of play. He even had a prison-rules block at the end of the game with the Flyers up a commanding ten points. It was Oliver’s best game in a Dayton uniform, an encouraging indicator for the future.

The one negative aspect of tonight’s game was the Flyer’s perpetual Achilles heel, interior defense. UD had no answer (weren’t even sure of the question) for Chris Braswell inside. The senior scored a rather effortless 27 points and physically had his way with both Kavanaugh and Big Frog. Nevertheless, Braswell was essentially a non-factor during the game’s latter stage, falling to the wayside as Charlotte settled on perimeter shots late in the contest.  

Ralph Hill had an air-balled free-throw, never forget.

Pretty sure there is a game this weekend. Don’t quote me on that, I’ll get back to you.

At Least One Aspect of our Program is Getting Some Respect

Even Blackburn's Redheaded sweetheart makes an appearance!  

Update: 2/14 6:10pm: I figured it was approriate to add this little stat that @UDArena tweeted a little bit ago.

Fordham Recap: No Refunds

That was the Chris Johnson I thought we’d see this season. CJ was seemingly everywhere on the court this afternoon: hitting clutch threes from the wing, finishing on the break, playing stellar defense and grabbing a bushel of rebounds (including a vicious leap which resulted in a somersault over a presumably lifeless Luke Fabrizius late in the game). The senior from Columbus broke out a vintage performance, 22 points and 13 rebounds, to pace the Flyers over Fordham, 72-70, in overtime. UD, losers of four in a row, were desperately looking for a slump buster. In Fordham, the Flyers were presented with a 35 year-old divorced mother of two, in town for a Career Coaching seminar.

Yes, it was against the lowly Rams, and yes, it was a little too late as far as the season is concerned. However, it was comforting to know that Johnson still has that type of execution left in his barrel. That was Super Sophomore CJ out there, not Sluggish Senior CJ. Who knows if Dayton can recapture some of the magic that catapulted it to the top of the league standings early on, almost certainly not, but with consistent play from CJ anything seems possible (I’m really pouring on the optimism juice).

UD needed everything Johnson gave them, as the rest of the Flyers struggled to find offense throughout the contest. The lone exception was Josh Parker, invisible in the first half, who managed 14 points on the afternoon. Parker hit a pair of crucial threes in the second half and played rather flawlessly with the ball in his hands. Kevin Dillard penetrated into the lane to force overtime on a heady drive to the basket with just under 30 seconds to play in the game. Ralph Hill played twenty-four minutes. Twenty. Four.

A Matt Kav kicked ball along the baseline, picked up by Josh Parker, sealed the win for the Flyers. A missed violation by the officials was an appropriate manner in which to end the game, as the refereeing in this game was, to be kind, inconsistent.

The Flyers, now 15-9 on the season (just 5-5 in league play), come back home to the waiting arms of UD Arena to face down a modest Charlotte squad on Wednesday night. Feign excitement.

Recon: Fordham University

I’m going to keep this short and sweet because this game concerns me more than any game Dayton has played in a long time. The less said the better. Plus, let’s be honest. How much more of this season can we bear to watch?

Dayton leads this series 18-4, its last loss to the Rams coming in the era of Gregory (January 2006). Before that, UD’s previous loss to Fordham came in the 1999-2000 season. Bottom line, the Flyers don’t get tripped up against Fordham very often, and when they do, it’s a memorable experience.

Although this weekend’s game against Fordham isn’t a statement game in any sense of the word (unless it’s a statement on who is less turrible. In that case, strap it up, this is a biggie!), but it is a battle for this program’s presently delicate psyche. It goes without saying that regardless of the result, Dayton will still be on much better footing in the grand scheme of things. UD is experiencing some expected rebuilding during Kid Yuma’s inaugural season and will surely improve next year – which coincidentally coincides with Paul Williams’ graduation. But we digress.

It’s like living in Ohio. Sure at times it’s awful, but at the very least you know it could always be worse. You could live in Michigan or in whatever state No Country for Old Men was filmed.

Maybe your life hasn’t panned out exactly as you’d imagined, but there are people in Africa contracting AIDS by merely sitting on seesaws. That could be you or someone you pretend to care about.   

Participating in a conference call is a painful progress. Who hasn’t brought a gun to work, held in your hands and thought about swallowing a bullet to get out of it? However, while you are pretending to listen in on the call, doesn’t the fact that somewhere outside a derelict is behind a dumpster, asscheeks akimbo, taking a tuberculosis-laden shit, grant you a degree of healthy perspective? It probably should.

Hopefully, tomorrow’s game isn’t a testament to how far the program has slipped in just one season. A win over Fordham would be an unmistakable reminder that it could always be worse. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what our time on Earth is really all about?

Overview: You’ll be happy to know that nothing has changed, Fordham is still the worst team in the Atlantic Ten (Although Jim Baron seems prepared to cast aspersions on that sentiment this season). The Rams are 9-13 on the season; a mere 2-7 in conference play, including what could a vital tie-breaking victory over Rhode Island.

Tom Pecora’s biggest win this season came at home against Harvard. He also bettered Brian Gregory, but that’s not something to write home about. The parallels you could draw between Gregory and Tommy Amaker are plentiful, but I’ll let you connect the dots yourself.

Meet and Greet: Fordham goes about eight deep and relies on a three-headed monster of Chris Gaston, Branden Frazier and Bryan Smith for most of its’ production.

Gaston has no business at Fordham, but there he is, unapologetic. The junior forward is having another monster season, averaging 16 points and 10 rebounds per contest. He’s added a bit of an outside game to his arsenal and is one of the more active players in the Atlantic Ten. Gaston plays with a childllike enthusiasm and indifference I can respect, a trait necessary to survive four years at Fordham. 

Frazier and Smith form one of the conference’s more unheralded backcourts. This isn’t to say they are any good, just rarely talked about. The duo essentially takes shots, usually from behind the arc, when Gaston is ill-prepared to hoist one up. If the A-10 tracked poor shot attempts, Frazier and Smith would be near the top of the list. You can add lil’ freshman Devon McMillan to that list as well. It’s just a dreadfully subpar basketball team.

Prediction: The day I pick UD to lose to Fordham, even at Rose Hill, is the day I turn in my keycard to the BR offices. It’s not happening. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. 

Defying Logic

Andy Glockner put up a mock bracket TODAY. I'm not even sure what to say. He has the Flyers safely in the tourney (a rematch against the nation's current sweathearts?). College basketball, this is not your finest moment. 

Duquesne Recap: Punch of Reality

Another painful loss for the home team as the Flyers were outclassed by Duquesne at the Arena, 83-73. The defeat drops UD to an even 4-4 in the league, 14-8 overall. For a program that prides itself on defending its backyard, back-to-back home losses (third in a row) do not inspire confidence in the rest of the 2011-12 campaign. With five of its last eight games on the road, an even split would register as a positive result.

The Dukes jumped out to a sixteen point lead and sucked all of the energy out of the building early in the first half. UD managed to cut the edge to nine points at the break, a minor victory in and of itself. The Flyers went on a run of its own in the second frame, using a 13-3 spurt to close the gap to two points midway through the half. The Flyers actually took a 57-55 lead at one point, but Duquesne went on another run and closed UD out rather emphatically down the stretch.

Kevin Dillard did all he could, scoring a game-high 22 points and 7 assists. Matt Kavanaugh was like a drunken uncle at Thanksgiving, playing against his autistic nephews on a Nerf hoop in the basement. Kav could pretty much do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Which is why his not getting a shot in the last thirteen and a half minutes of the game was kind of…odd? Nevertheless, the Boofer did manage to drop seventeen points on the night.

The Flyer season has been like a Wes Anderson movie. The beginning draws you in, the characters are intriguing, and the second act sets the stage for what should be a fantastic ending. Then, the close of the film drags until its uneventful end, leaving you with a feeling that the whole thing could have, should have, been so much more. Something that began with so much promise had no business ending on such an imperfect note (and please, I beg of you, please, no more Anjelica Huston).

Two big picture questions to consider:

• What do we lose by limiting Paul Willie’s minutes at this point? Williams is sort of like a moribund fifth-year senior QB on a college football team that just eliminated itself from bowl contention.  Time to give the underclassman some reps. There’s no point in furthering the Paul Williams experience. We’ve seen it, we’ve felt it, and we’ve somehow survived it. Not saying he should be buried on the bench, the team’s depth makes that impractical, but how about switching his minutes with Oliver? Archie has a lot more to gain by getting increased minutes for the sophomore than continuing the bleeding with PW.

• Who experienced a more disappointing senior season, Chris Wright or Chris Johnson? Granted CJ’s season hasn’t come to a definitive conclusion yet, but we are at a point in the season where it’s fair to draw a ballpark estimate. This isn’t to say that Johnson is having an appalling season, far from it. He is averaging around eleven points and grabbing approximately six boards a game. The senior from Columbus is shooting a more than respectable 44% from the floor, 41% from three and 82% from the line. That’s a statistically solid season, nothing to be ashamed of.  But you would be lying if you said you weren’t disappointed with CJ’s output this season. Personally, I expected him to finish his senior year with 15-17/7-8 production. Not going to happen. Chris Johnson, Chris Wright, Marcus Johnson, Tony Stanley – the curse of the Flyer senior season continues.

Bottom line, a thirty game season has a way of evening itself out. Dayton experienced some unforeseen highs and will more than likely close out the season experiencing some predictable lows (which would seem to include another loss down in Cincinnati). So with shifting expectations, what’s a realistic goal at this point? A home tournament game in the first round of the A-10 tournament is still very much attainable. Given Dayton’s conference tournament performance last year, and its apparent proclivity to get hot at a moment’s notice, it’s a worthwhile aim.

Five in Five

Dayton’s performance on Saturday was turrrible. UD was a 13.5 point favorite against a hapless Rhode Island squad still looking for its first conference victory. After falling behind early, Dayton battled back and looked like it would pull out an underwhelming, yet crucial, win. As soon as a Kevin Dillard layup pushed the Flyer lead to 75-72, Jim Baron burned a timeout and rallied his troops. Following the stop in play, and after what must have been a resounding pep talk, the Rams scored the game’s next nine points and closed UD out on the road. When reflecting on the season it may just be the straw that broke the camel’s back

I was asked more than a few times this weekend: was this one of the worst losses in recent memory? Not even close, dear friends.

When evaluating the dreadfulness of a defeat, one must consider not only the overall beating itself but the importance/implication of the loss as well. It’s a sliding scale.

So here you go – my personal, yet completely infallible, list of UD’s five worst losses over the past five seasons (please leave any omissions in the comments). Why five years, five losses? I didn’t want to do substantial homework, that’s why. 

(2/13/08) Duquesne 63 Dayton 61: Brian Roberts’ senior season was full of highlight victories – including wins over Louisville and Pittsburgh, a pair of games we will still be hearing about twenty years from now.  The Flyers ran out to a 14-1 record before hitting some setbacks in conference play (since known as the “Gregory Special”). UD was 4-5 in the Atlantic Ten entering their home clash with the Dukes in mid-February. With seven league games remaining, and a stellar resume to that point, UD still had a lot to play for. Certainly a home game against the middling Dukes would surely have been the catalyst to a 10 win conference record and a probable NCAA bid.

Not so much. Dayton toyed around with Duquesne for 35 minutes, or maybe it was the other way around, but was never able to land a knockout punch. The Flyers had a chance to win or tie the game on the last possession of the game, but an Andres Sandoval three-pointer at the buzzer came up woefully short. UD would eventually finish 8-8 in league play, 21-10 overall on Selection Sunday. 

(3/6/10) Saint Louis 71 Dayton 66: Dayton was an eleven and a half point favorite as the Bills visited the Arena in early March. The game was the conference closer and the Flyers were coming off a close loss at Richmond. A victory over Rick Majerus’ squad would mean a 9-7 finish in the league. The Flyers came out slow, going into halftime down 34-19. UD managed to cut the margin down to just four with over two minutes left, but couldn’t get any closer. It was a capper on a very frustrating season in which the Flyers managed to lose eight conference games by an average of just 3.5 points per game. But fret not; as the t-shirt you are probably wearing right now indicates, UD went on to win the NIT Tournament. 

(3/2/11) Saint Louis 69 Dayton 51: Almost the same exact situation as the previous game on the list, UD once again came out flat and fell behind 35-19 at the half. Unlike the aforementioned contest, the Flyers were never able to get back to within striking distance. Petey Zestermann came in with two minutes left, a breakfast burrito still churning in his stomach, and the season was all but done. A game Dayton absolutely had to win ended in appalling fashion. It was both Chris Wright and Brian Gregory’s last game at UD Arena, how apropos.  

(11/30/11) Buffalo 84 Dayton 55: Archie’s first undressing. Not a season killer by any means, but a shocking result nonetheless. Dayton was still riding some good vibes after winning the Old Spice Classic. After a two-hour pregame commemoration ceremony, in which Archie was awarded a gold-plated blazer and the Old Spice trophy was passed around the entire Arena, the Flyers came out rather flat. The Bulls jumped out to a 32-11 lead and the universe’s best fans hit the exits at the break. It was the first indication that maybe allowing the other team to score on every possession wasn’t the best strategy. Revolutionary? Yes. Effective? Hardly.

(11/27/10) Cincinnati 68 Dayton 34: The “Doubled Up” game. The Flyers scored 19 points in the first half, 15 in the second. Statistically speaking, the game was over with 14:30 still left to go in the game. I’m not a UD basketball historian, although telling girls that I am has led to oral favors in the past, but this defeat must rank near the top of the worst losses in Dayton’s 100+ years of semi-competitive basketball. Supposedly in 1907, back when UD was known as St. Mary’s Institute, the school lost 65-6 to the Oakwood Albino Academy. The Albinos, as legend would have it, were just very light-skinned black guys. Unfortunately, this charge cannot be substantiated (nor denied). Suspicions, however, were raised during the postgame showers. 

Rhode Island Recap: Brick From the Wall

There are bad losses and then there are soul-crushing defeats. Tonight was a soul stomper. The Rhode Island Rams, the owners of a 0-6 conference record coming into tonight’s ballgame, came into the Arena and lit the Flyers up for 85 points and a four-point road victory. The Flyers, looking for an undemanding victory, failed to take down what amounts to a wounded animal. The loss pulls the Flyers back down to reality, now just 4-3 in the Atlantic Ten.

In March, G.C. Cager fans will have either one of two recollections of tonight’s defeat:

1. “Once we lost to Rhode Island, I totally knew the season was over, bro.”
2. “Dude, I thought the season was over once we lost to Rhody. Can’t believe UD made the tournament. How horrible is college basketball this season? Still shocked that Obama came out of the closet.”

81 points, on an average night, should be more than enough to beat the likes of Rhode Island. The Rams were 0-9 in games when they allowed 75 points or more. Make that 1-9.

URI was averaging 68 points per game coming into the game tonight. They blew past that number with five minutes to go – eventually eclipsing that mark by 18 when all was said and done.

The fuck?Dayton doesn’t have to play defense like Ohio State to contend in the Atlantic Ten. In fact, just mediocre defense alone would likely have the Flyers at 16-5/17-4 overall, probably 5-2, maybe even 6-1, in the league. Instead, UD is allowing 77 points in conference play. Seventy…seven. The Washington Generals think the Flyers have a long way to go defensively.   

The loss muddies solid performances from both Chris Johnson (20 points, 12 rebounds) and Kevin Dillard (12 points, 13 assists). Even ol’ Luke Fabrizius managed to kick in 17 points on the night. Usually, these factors equal a victory.

What else can you say about Paul Williams? PW followed up one of the worst performances these gorgeous bedroom eyes have seen with yet another bed-shitter. In 29 minutes, Paul Willie shot 1-for-6 from the floor, finishing with three points and three turnovers. There isn’t a white woman alive who could do that much damage to a black man. Maybe an underage girl? I don’t want to speculate.    

Dillard, so consistent during the season, had a bit of a breakdown during the closing minutes of the contest. Two turnovers on back-to-back possessions gave Rhody all the breathing room it needed to take down the Flyers. Luke Fab’s two late three-pointers merely put some fancy wrapping on an otherwise unsightly gift.

Rosceaux adds his two cents:

That was a shitty loss. The thing you have to remember about Baron and his A-10 Coach of the Year awards is that he got them by shitting the bed in OOC play each year, and then stringing together great conference runs. He is the anti-Gregory in those regards. He lowers his own expectations, and then his teams come on strong.

How does this relate to tonight’s fiasco? Baron teams take a long time to gel. He just got his two best players onto the team in December. They’ve been playing better each successive game. Just as UD was lucky to catch a break with Eric out for Temple, they were unlucky to catch Rhody after the team began to play better. They just took the Bonnies to OT in their last game for Christsakes.

Is Coach Archie the new BG? Absolutely not. Is he the new John Wooden? Not. Would I love to bang his wife? Totally.

And yes, this is awesome:

The Flyers get back to business on Wednesday when the Dukes come into town. We don’t like to use the phrase “must-win” around here (ahem), but let’s just say a win against Duquesne is vital to UD’s fluttering postseason hopes.