5 Things I Know (Week of November 16, 2009)

Another year, another chance for you all to hate me.  I'd like to welcome back the faithful readers because without you, I'd be happy and confident.  I'd also like to welcome the new readers.  Fuck you all and the boat you came in on.  Get your suntan lotion ready and let's get excited for Puerto Rico.

1.) I was in Mexico last week and was a distant memory during the preview posts.  I admit that I rushed my answers to the questions and even forgot to answer some of them.  Here are my predictions for the year.  12-2 in the non-conference schedule with losses to Georgia Tech and Miami.  Yeah, call me a faggot all you want, Miami is better than most people think (see game vs UK).  They always play Dayton tough, they have a better coach, and most of all, they have hotter girls.  And before you say, "Yeah, but the guys pop their collars," just stop being a retard.  The people that rip Miami are the people that did not get accepted there.  Yeah, that means you BrownsFlyer.  I kid, I love BrownsFlyer.  I hate Tron Paul.  In the conference, I see Dayton losing at least 3 road games (Xavier, Richmond, and Temple) and 1 home game (most likely Charlotte for some gay ass reason since they lose to them EVERY year.  That makes them 24-6.  Win at least 1 game in the A-14 tournament and they are 25-7, with an RPI of about 25, and they once again sneak into the NCAA at an 11 seed.

2.) Like I said, I went to Mexico for my honeymoon.  I highly recommend it to anyone.  Nothing like eating, drinking, and pretty much doing nothing all week while being pampered by men and women that put my Spanglish to shame.  Secrets Capri in Playa del Carmen.  Pamper your bitch by taking her there and you will have the upper hand the rest of your relationship.  Trust me, I no longer have to double bag it when I have intercourse.  Plus, there is a free porn channel in the hotel.  In English too.  I hate jerking it to foreign porn.

3.) We touched on this briefly in our podcast with Ray, but I will elaborate on Lebron James.  Right now, I think it is 50-50 that he stays/leaves Cleveland.  Every team can pay him the max money so that doesn't mean anything.  The Knicks suck really bad so I doubt he will go there.  Cleveland is maybe the 4th best team in the East (behind Boston, Orlando, and possibly Miami) so why stay there when the Magic (and Bulls) are just going to get better every year.? So to steal a page from Bill Simmons, I see James going to either Chicago or to the Clippers.  And then the city of Cleveland dying.  And me laughing all the way to hell.

4.) Brian Kelly will be the next coach at Notre Dame...in 2 years.  Weis will somehow remain with Notre Dame next season and will be fired after they again go 8-4.  Let's just put this out in the air and say what Notre Dame fans don't want you to hear.  When ND hired Tyrone Willingham, they thought, "Look at us!  We hired a black guy!"  Then, when he started sucking ass he was all of a sudden not "a Notre Dame guy."  Let's look at the facts.  He was the ONLY coach in Notre Dame history not to finish his contract.  Notre Dame hiring was race related and firing him was race related.  Charlie Weis had 2 good years at Notre Dame...with Tyrone's players.  Brady Quinn has been exposed as a fraud.  Notre Dame is by far the most overrated sports program in the history of sports.  The Chicago Cubs, of course, are #2.

5.) Tom and I have talked about this a little, but allow me to vent.  How the FUCK is the Dayton/Georgia Tech game not on TV?  Sure, I am going to be at work and it doesn't matter anyway, but come on.  They recently showed a Duke/Coastal Carolina game on ESPNU and they can't put a game of two ranked teams on one of the 8 ESPN channels?  Sure it's on at 11:30 in the morning and that is what, the 3rd hour of Cold Pizza or the 7th hour of Colin Cowherd, but still.  Fuck you ESPN.  I am jealous of the people in Dayton that get to watch the game on the Dayton CW.  Maybe there will be some commercials for Gossip Girl and the delicious Blake Lively?  Definitely hot.  See what I did there?  I changed things up.

Welcome back basketball season!