THE SHITHOUSE RAT Comment of the Week

Bodog

You Look Funny Doing That With Your Head

« Hit the Lights | Main | An Interrogatory with: University of Kansas »
Saturday
Mar212009

Recon: University of Kansas

I will come clean, I'm ashamed of myself. For many reasons, but let's just keep it UD related for now. I all but put my blogging shoes away for the summer after writing the Recon for West Virginia. Alas, my actions were short-sided and ill-conceived. As the record will show, Dayton turned in a performance not soon to be forgotten by Dayton students/grads/fans for some time. Chris Wright's play against West Virginia was the greatest aerial performance since Hiroshima. After an almost 20 year drought, the Flyers can finally put one in the win column. Up next? Only one of the most storied college basketball programs in the history of mankind, the Kansas Jayhawks. Vegas has Kansas listed as a 7.5 point favorite. They had "us" as a 9 point dog against West Virginia, so it appears we have gained a little respect where it matters most. The over/under is 134, so the guys in gold chains see it : Kansas 71, Dayton 63. Something like that.

This isn't your typical Jayhawk team. Kansas lost six seniors and its entire starting lineup from last year's Championship squad. So what does Bill Self do? First, insert McDonald's All-American Sherron Collins and Cole Aldrich into the starting lineup. Pretty good start. Then bring in the #2 recruiting class in the nation. That's good thinking, Mr. Self. It must be like what running a high-class escort agency is like. You start with 10 model-quality Russian girls aged 19-23. When they start dropping like flies from suicides or drug overdoses (or reach the age of 25--yuck!) you simply restock the roster with ten more twiggy Russian girls you bought off the Internet. The business continues to flourish because the girls know you are legit. You flash some cash, buy them a nice dress or two, introduce them to your dealer (who gives you a 25% cut for bringing in new customers), have a three to four year run where you make money, they make money, and everyone is happy. So...

Bill Self = Owner of Escort Agency
High School All Americans = Young Model-Quality Russian Girls
Recruiting/AAU/Summer Camps = Buying Russian Girls off the Internet
Kansas Tradition, National Exposure = Cash
Playing Time = A Nice Dress or Two
Introduction to Boosters = Introduction to Dealers
Players Leave KU When Eligibility is Used Up = Escorts Leave Agency When They Are Used Up
Kansas Does Well, Self Financially Rewarded = Escorts Do Well, Owner Financially Rewarded

I am a genius. Now join me as we take a big picture look at one of college basketball's institutions. Rock....Chalk....Jayhawk.....Kay......You......

Leading scorer Sherron Collins is a fucking freak show. Play him tight and he'll blow right by you, making you pull muscles you didn't even know you had. Play off him, and he will drop a 21 foot steamer on your chest. Brian Gregory, pick your poison. Reminds me of Ty Lawson from Carolina. Collins could be Lawson's doppelganger. Both guards are 5'11" and built for runnin' and gunnin'. I would say that Lawson is the overall better player, but Collins is not far behind. Collins comes into Sunday's game averaging 19 points and 5 assists. He single-handedly kept Kansas a step ahead of North Dakota State on Friday, finishing the game with 32 points and 8 assists. Collins took 26 shots in the victory over the Bison, which means he has the green light and isn't gun shy. London Warren is going to have to do everything short of giving Collins a proctology exam for the Flyers to have any chance of winning this one.

Brian Gregory: "You know how in Hoosiers Gene Hackman tells that guy that he wants to know what flavor bubble gum the other team's best player is chewing."
London Warren: "I guess..."
Brian Gregory: "Well, by the time this game is over, I want you to tell me what Collins ate two nights ago."
London Warren: "Are you starting Huelsman tonight?"
Brian Gregory: "You know this."
London Warren: "Then I can't take your coaching instructions seriously."


KU center Cole Aldrich has retard strength (Super-human strength usually had by one who is considered a retard and can lift heavy things only because they are too retarded to know they are hurting themselves--UrbanDictionary.com). Don't be offended, Obama says it's okay to poke fun at the mentally handicapped. He is seven-feet of pure Minnesota-hardened steel. Aldrich sits down at a toilet, evacuates his bowels and a double-double falls carelessly to the bottom of the bowl. He averages a solid 15-10 a night. When I saw Aldrich last year, I thought he had "project" written all over him. Turns out the kid just needed minutes, and for me "to get off his fucking back," as his production has increased dramatically this season. It could be a long night for UD if Aldrich is dominating the paint. The only big man the Flyers have faced that even comes close to Aldrich is St. Joe's Ahmad Nivins. Although UD had success against Nivins, he is more of a power forward, whereas Aldrich is more a of true center--something Dayton hasn't really faced this season. If I was Gregory I would tell Huelsman and Big Dog to go for the eyes.

Kansas might as well be the Rolling Stones, because after Mick and Keef it's a bunch of guys you never heard of. Which doesn't mean they can't hurt you. Freshman Tyshawn Taylor is most likely to make a name for himself on Sunday. I saw Taylor drop 26 on a Blake Griffin-less Oklahoma last month. He has range but doesn't rely solely on his outside shooting. He averages around 10 points a game but definitely has the ability to go off on Dayton should the Flyers choose to overload on Collins and Aldrich.

Sophomore guard Brady Morningstar is the boy next-door that no one wanted to play with. So he stood in his driveway in Lawrence, Kansas all by himself and shot threes all day. Sometimes he would break into cars and steal spare change out of the ashtray. He didn't need the money, it just made him feel alive. Besides, if anyone ever suspected him he would just blame his troubled older brother Rodney. "It couldn't be Brady, he is so quiet. All he does is shoot baskets all day." If UD sags off of Morningstar, he will hurt them. He spent all those hours alone in the driveway just so people like Brian Gregory would underestimate him.

Freshman forward Marcus Morris is going to be a stud someday. A double-double guy in the making. He isn't going to come in and light the world on fire on Sunday, but he will give the Jayhawks 20 decent minutes. Marcus is so efficient you would swear he was German. Marcus' brother from the same mother is his twin, Markieff. I love it when people just make names up on the spot like that. Markieff seems a little less offensively inclined than Marcus, but is solid on the boards. If sophomore Tyrel Reed is shooting, his feet will be at least 20 feet 9 inches from the rim. He is the Jayhawks' version of Luke Fabrizius. Only he will play on Sunday and not force any shots. Again, this is the type of guy UD has historically left alone to his own devices and ends up hitting five threes. Mario Little is a JUCO transfer, named the #1 junior college player by Rivals. He is from Chicago and wears the #23, judge that however you like. For a 6'5" kid, he is a monster on the boards. Little plays around 12 minutes a game and grabs about 4 boards a game. If Kurt Huelsman grabs four boards on Sunday UD wins this game. You can read that statement in a number of ways.

I'm hope we hear the tall story regarding Wilt Chamberlain and Dayton at some point during Sunday's telecast. Len Elmore will more than likely relay the story over Gus Johnson's unwarranted screaming. You know the one. The Stilt visits the Gem City. He sleeps with everyone with at least shoulder length hair but discovers that the racial climate in the Gem City is tepid. So he goes to the culturally diverse state of...Kansas. I'm not even sure where I heard about the Stilt's supposed recruitment to UD, it was probably one of Bucky Albers' colorful yarns that was created out of think air. Still, it's a pretty good story, so let's keep it in circulation.

Look at these numerals goddammit, I implore you!!


PPGFG%FT%3P%RPGORPGDRPGAPGTPGSPGBPGFPG
Kansas 77.147.972.838.041.712.126.816.214.66.94.319.3
Dayton
67.542.864.533.141.013.824.214.113.86.33.519.0
KU Opponents 65.838.871.733.534.511.020.612.713.87.13.220.1
UD Opponents 61.539.670.131.735.810.222.511.814.85.03.618.3

What can we tell from these numbers? KU likes to put it in the hole. It's fun, can you blame them? The Jayhawks shoot the ball from the stripe well, they hit almost 40% of their threes, out rebound their opponents by around eight boards a game, hold the opposition to 39% shooting from the field--let me sit down and catch my breath, these numbers kind of caught me off guard. Okay, so maybe KU is more talented than our guys. Let's just move on, nothing good will come of this.

Great quote from trucker Tom Archdeacon in today's DDN:

But Kansas All-American guard Sherron Collins — who has the skyline of his hometown Chicago tattooed in exacting detail across his right forearm — knew of Mickey Perry:

"He's from Chicago. Went to Proviso East."

Did he play against him?

Collins shook his head: "Don't think so."

Meanwhile, in the Flyers Metrodome quarters, Perry said: "I played Sherron a lot in high school. I know him pretty well."

I don't know why I found this quote so humorous, I just do. It's like Mickey is worshiping Sherron from a distance, an unrequited love kinda thing. Sherron likes to love 'em and leave 'em.

Prediction: I'm not one of those ham-and-eggers at UD Pride, so I'm not going to predict a UD victory. However, I've said it before and I'll say it again, I think UD matches up better with Kansas than they did with WVU. The first ten minutes will tell the tale. If Dayton can hang with the Jayhawks for the first ten minutes, I like their chances. I would expect Aldrich to get the ball early and often. It's vital for Kurt and Big Dog to make him work for everything he gets. This is one game where we might really feel the loss of Lowery. Either way, it's been a great season--let's hope it continues.

Reader Comments (20)

After watching Aldrich play on Friday vs. NDSU, I think we should run it as much as possible. He has no endurance. When KU was setting up their offense, he was barely past their own 3 point line. BG better use this time to his advantage and double team someone. (preferably collins) KU is very good, but we can beat them if we stick to our game and everyone stays out of foul trouble! GO FLYERS!

03.22.2009 | Unregistered CommenterBen

our offense sucks, but the refs aren't helping with their bullshit.

03.22.2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

agreed. Refs are totally Kansas honks. On the other hand, what is the record for worst FG% in a NCAA game. I'm thinking our 20% has to be historically bad.

03.22.2009 | Unregistered CommenterRyanK.

really missed rob in this game. when your PG isn't an outside scoring threat defense becomes a hell of a lot easier

03.22.2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ron Simmons said it best............DAMN!!!!

03.22.2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Fuck me in the goat ass! A fine time for us to go 0 for broke.

03.22.2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cole Aldrich raped me.

03.22.2009 | Unregistered CommenterAdam

KU just packed it in and dared UD to shoot. Kinda embarrassing.

03.22.2009 | Unregistered CommenterMr. Blackburn

Great season...I have no compaints.

03.22.2009 | Unregistered CommenterMr. Donoher

27 wins after Brian Roberts graduates? who could have guessed that one. The future is bright.

03.22.2009 | Unregistered CommenterBAYNE

Have to echo what BAYNE said. Definitely exceeded my expectations from the beginning of the year.

I'd like to thank both Coach Tom and Coach Don for the blog. After spending three years having to read a bunch of hayseed's opinions about UD to get any news about UD Basketball, this blog has been a breath of fresh air. You guys are hilarious, but you know your stuff too. I hope you come back next year when the season starts back up so I can still enjoy numerous dick jokes and pictures of girls from UD's opponents in erotic poses. A sincere thank you to you guys. Cheers.

03.22.2009 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

^And maybe they'll even have stuff during the off-season...?

But a great season beginning to end. no complaints whatsoever. There's no shame losing to Kansas and Bill Self. He really is one of the best coaches in the nation. And the team has plenty of class to go along with it. A great end to the season - couldn't have predicted it any better. Next year's gonna be a lot of fun.

03.22.2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiSab

There needs to be a correction on this blog; While its abbreviation is KU, the school is known as University of Kansas

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Kansas

03.22.2009 | Unregistered Commentervaglover

vaglover: No problem dipshit, we'll make sure we'll add it to the foot notes.


As for everyone else, its been real fun and the Review Boys had a lot to do with keeping me interested during the dog days of February. If we could average 27 wins for the next 10 years, is there a single guy here who wouldn't take it? We're a mid-major so we'll always have a glaring weakness (shooting) but how many coaches can win 27 games with a team that shoots like a JV women's team.

I'm really happy, really proud, high fives for all.

03.23.2009 | Unregistered CommenterJersey

It appears Jason Whitlock loves the Flyers. Some highlights from his column:

Sunday’s 60-43 laugher over the Dayton Flyers simply confirmed what I’ve always believed about the unfairness of the Big Dance. Thanks to a flawed seeding process and a horrendous, first-round performance by Bob Huggins’ West Virginia Mountaineers, the third-seeded Jayhawks were blessed with the privilege of playing the most unskilled team left in the tournament.

Honestly, I played on and coached better-shooting intramural teams in college than the 2008-09 Dayton Flyers.

Dayton, the runner-up in the Atlantic 10, might be on par with Colorado, the last-place team in the Big 12. Yes, in November Dayton beat Auburn and Marquette on back-to-back nights. November is college basketball’s exhibition season. The results shouldn’t count.

I’ve never seen anything as pathetic as Dayton’s offense. On Saturday, I spent much of the afternoon wondering how Chris Wright, a big-time recruit, landed at Dayton. Sunday he provided an answer. He can’t finish at the rim, in the paint or on the perimeter. He’s Kansas State’s Dominique Sutton without the defensive intensity.

Wright is so raw that a vegan would put him in the microwave.

The Flyers shot 22 percent from the field.

Yeah, you can delude yourself into thinking Kansas played amazing defense. Not true. The Flyers hurled themselves into the lane and threw up shots into the outstretched arms of Cole Aldrich, who recorded what is believed to be the third triple-double in Kansas history.

After offering that bit of context, let me say emphatically that Aldrich’s triple-double on Sunday was the least impressive I’ve had the pleasure to witness. The Flyers missed so many damn shots that $weet Lew Perkins was credited with five boards. Every time Wright sailed into the lane he gently placed the ball in Aldrich’s hands. Some of Aldrich’s blocks should have been scored as steals.

The truth is Kansas played poorly on Sunday. Oh, the Cole and Collins Show performed to rave reviews. Sherron Collins knocked down 11 of 19 shots, scored 25 points, snatched seven rebounds and avoided a turnover. Mario Little turned in an efficient 16 minutes, hitting three of four shots and hauling in six boards.

The Jayhawks turned the ball over 17 times, missed half of their 22 free-throw attempts and 13 of 16 three-point shots.

Dayton is the only team that played on Sunday that would have lost to Kansas.

The Cole and Collins Show won’t beat Michigan State on Friday.

To reach Jason Whitlock, call 816-234-4869 or send e-mail to jwhitlock@kcstar.com. For previous columns, go to KansasCity.com.

03.23.2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Whitlock is nothing more than an uneducated Kansas blowhard. I'd like to see his intramural teams play the Flyers. Then he'll see what's up. He can go back to fucking his mother now, and stop writing for that pathetic excuse for a newspaper.

03.23.2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiSab

WOW NATIONAL MEDIA ATTENTION!!!

Dayton is on the ups boys!

03.23.2009 | Unregistered CommenterJersey

I actually like Whitlock a lot. Although most will not appreciate his tone, it's nothing that hasn't been said on this site before.

03.23.2009 | Unregistered CommenterMr. Blackburn

DiSab-
Get a clue. The KC Star is a damn good newspaper with really good writers like Joe Posnanski (definitely check out his blog). The article was spot on. Your response reeks of homerism. Kansas looked like shit, but we looked even worse. CW is pretty overrated and our offense is nothing short of laughable.

03.23.2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm surpised Whitlock didn't accuse Huels, LFab, and Aldrich of playing while white and skewering the homeboy ratio on the court.

03.23.2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>