An Interrogatory with: University of Kansas

I took the time out of my busy day of couch sitting to discuss tomorrow's game with Kansas blogger Cory Brenneman. Cory runs the KU site, Rock Chalk Talk, an excellent blog which covers all things Jayhawk. In this interrogatory we discuss Bill Self's hair, whether those stories linking Wilt Chamberlain to Dayton are true, Thomas Frank's book, What's the Matter With Kansas?, and Kirk Hinrich's obsession with Chili's. Secaur, of PB & a B fame, did a more lucid Q&A with Mr. Brenneman as well--check it out here. Secuar and I returned the favor, by answering some questions, over at RockChalkTalk.com.

Kansas has overachieved all season. The Jayhawks graduated six seniors from last year’s Championship squad. All the starters left Lawrence with smug satisfaction and a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. With only four returning scholarship players, what were the expectations coming into this season?

My expectations, and most were similar, was a Top 4 finish in the Big 12 and a trip to the NCAA Tournament. Maybe even a W, if we got lucky. Needless to say, we've exceeded those expectations already. The real purpose of this year was to set the stage for a potential National Title run next year, and if Cole and Sherron stay, we've done plenty go work towards that goal.

Kansas is essentially a two-headed monster this year. A steady diet of Sherron Collins and Cole Aldrich has led this year’s Jayhawk team to a regular season Big 12 title. Dayton’s defense is so intense that it borders on criminal. The entire team was arrested after its game against St. Joe’s this year and charged with “defense of a smothering nature.” Charges were later dropped. I can guarantee you this much, UD will key on Collins and Aldrich and make someone else beat them—or die trying. Who is this “someone” KU can count on to score if Ebony & Ivory are held in check?

There are two prime candidates: Marcus Morris and Tyshawn Taylor. Both could explode, in their own way, and lead us to victory. However, the much more likely choice would be Tyshawn Taylor, a freshman guard. He is incredibly difficult to stop when he is going to the rim, and has a penchant for banking in the threes. Against Oklahoma, when we badly needed a third amigo, he came up big with 25 points, or something like that. He has the talent to explode, and if his jumper is on, he likely will.

Kansas is easily one of the most respected college basketball programs of all time. An endless round ball tradition, a roster that is continually filled with McDonald’s All-Americans, and a coaching pedigree that is unmatched. Dayton is…well, Dayton. Tell me everything you know about Dayton going into tomorrow’s game. (Besides the fact that Chris Wright is dunktastic.)

Basically, from what I've seen, you guys are like a mid-major version of West Virginia. Athletic as hell, rangy, long. Jay Bilas should call your games, because he'd have a field day. Also, tough-as-nails on defense. On offense, a team of mid-range jump shooters that struggle when stepping behind the three-point line.

Kirk Hinrich is without a doubt my favorite Jayhawk of all time. I think it was his hair and his Midwestern “aw-shucks-iness” that drew me to him. My roommate in law school interned for Hinrich’s agent and was charged with arranging some of Kirk’s “necessities.” His main objective was to get Hinrich free shit. Free cars, free plane tickets, free clothes, etc. However, this wasn’t enough. Kirk wanted to get free meals at his neighborhood Chili’s. So, my roommate spent countless weeks emailing and calling the restaurant’s marketing department in order to get Kirk free meals at any Chili’s across our great nation. The problem, of course, is that Chili’s is a franchise—so my roommate had to place calls to Chili’s whenever Kurt was on the road and wanted free Boneless Buffalo Wings and a Cajun Ribeye. Knowing this information, that a multi-millionaire wanted free food from a chain restaurant, do we like Kirk more or less? Dig deeper, what does this say about Mr. Hinrich?

Wow. That is awesome. I have no idea what to say, though. I mean, sure, it's free food, but at least it's just Chili's. It isn't like he wanted Ruth's Chris everywhere he went. And yes, I'm grasping at straws trying to find the positive. I've got absolutely nothing. To answer your actual question, though, I think that the 'likeness' stays the same. It goes up because it's "just Chili's", plus that's cool. It goes down because that's just selfish as hell. So, that's all I've got. No more love, no less love. Not to cop out, or anything.

One of the best socio-political books I’ve read, due to the fact that it’s the only one I read, is “What’s the Matter with Kansas?” by Thomas Frank. The premise of the book is that Kansans’ provide overwhelming support for Republican candidates even though conservative economic policies tend to hurt the working-class sectors of the country that are prevalent in the Midwest. Frank’s argument is that voters in Kansas are in a continual revolt against liberal social attitudes and forsake their fiscal well-being by supporting Republicans. Lawrence is supposed to be a hot-bed of college liberalism. I sometimes lay awake at night and wonder, do townies hate KU students? Do KU students despise the townies? Are the Socs and the Greasers going to battle in the quad?

I'm not a Kansas student, regrettably, so I have little to say about any potential brawls. And I can say you've got me beat on the amount of socio-political books read. But everything you said seems to make sense. Yes, Kansas as a whole is as republican as it gets (it even gets Mormon-filled Utah a run for its money), while Lawrence is quite liberal. They all get along, though, with Kansas basketball being the unifying force. Unless you're a K-State fan, then there's just Bill Snyder to unite the two. But Manhattan isn't nearly as liberal as Lawrence, so maybe there isn't a gap that needs to be bridged. I don't know.

Let’s get back to basketball. Bill Self stepped in after Roy Williams left for North Carolina and was able to bring home a title to Lawrence, something Williams was never able to do. How do KU fans view Self in comparison to Williams? Do they merely think he was like Steve Fisher or Tubby Smith in the sense that he could win with his predecessor’s players but could never achieve the same success with his own?

Most, including myself, like Bill Self more and, more importantly, consider him the better coach. Some still love Roy to death, and will never really move on, while others will hate Roy to death (literally, in their wishes), and will never really move on. But the majority thank him for his accomplishments while our Head Coach, wish him good luck in Chapel Hill and have moved on to Self. From watching both, like I said, Self is the better coach. As for the Steve Fisher/Tubby Smith remark, it couldn't be more different. Self struggled early on with first-round upsets to Bucknell and Bradley with Williams' players, before winning it all with a roster entirely devoid (besides Jeremy Case, who never saw the court save for blowouts) of Roy Williams' influences. If you're comparing Williams to Fisher and Smith, that is a much more valid comparison. And, one I would agree with. My theory is that he becomes too emotionally attached to his own players, when he recruits them and guides them through 4 years of college, and always finds a way to choke at the end. It's almost certainly unfair to put it on such a metaphysical thing, but that's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

A follow-up on Self, this is something that has bothered me for a long time and I figured that a Jayhawk fan could provide some clarity on the situation. What in the hell is on top of Self’s head? It clearly isn’t human hair. Is it a toupee, a wig, some sort of weave? Please put this mystery to rest.

If you look at old pictures, like mid-90's old when he was coaching Oral Roberts, it's clear what was up there wasn't natural. Not by a long shot. But now, with as much as I've seen him on the TV, I'm positive that it's all natural up there. Well, not entirely natural. It's almost certain he used hair plugs or one of those hair-growing things you see on infomercials that "grow your own hair". But it isn't a toupee, or a wig, or anything. Maybe that's just my love for him giving him the absolute benefit of the doubt, though. Who knows.

Wilt Chamberlain is the greatest player ever to wear a Jayhawk uniform. We’ve all heard about his 100 point game, about the season in which he led the NBA in assists, and the time he had his Dipper inside three women at once. A story about the Stilt that I’ve never head outside of UD circles discusses his recruitment by the University of Dayton. I will provide the following excerpt and I want you to react with extreme prejudice:

“He was promised room, board, tuition, a car, plane rides home to Philadelphia and $60 a week "pocket money" to go to the University of Dayton, but Chamberlain decided on Kansas, partly because Coach Forrest ("Phog") Allen was the only recruiter who suggested that he could get an education at college too.” (Time Magazine)

I have also heard reports stating that Wilt was going to come to Dayton before he realized that racist attitudes flourished in the Gem City. I have always doubted this story for two reasons: one, UD never had someone like Chamberlain in the program, so why would the most sought-after recruit in history come to Dayton? Two, Kansas wasn’t exactly the most racially accepting area of the country either. So, my question is—have these reports ever filtered through to Kansas fans or are they just tales of whimsy made up by a drunken Dayton sportswriter?

I'll be honest, I've never heard that Wilt the Stilt was heading to Dayton before. That quote was news to me. And, like you, I do find it hard to believe that he would have chosen Dayton over every other program in the country. But, who knows. Maybe he just wanted to take his act somewhere unique, to stand out. But no, I had never heard of him potentially going to Dayton.

You mentioned that you saw the UD/WVU game on Friday. What concerns you the most about this Flyer team?

Their tough, physical D and their athleticism. If we aren't hitting our threes, I'm very worried that we won't ever score, ever. Oh, and Chris Wright and our lack of a good matchup worries me plenty, as well.

Let’s hear a prediction. Give me the winner, margin of victory, and the player of the game.

I think we win. I keep on envisioning situations where we'll lose, and stuff, and won't be terribly surprised if we do lose. But, in the end, we're more likely to win than lose.

For the score, I'll go: Kansas 72 Dayton 61. Low-scoring, for the most part, but a couple of key second half runs by the Jayhawks aren't matched by the Flyers.

Player of the Game: Cole Aldrich. The dude is just too good to be contained. Even if they devote 2 or 3 players to the big guy, he should still score plenty. He's just the best.

An Interrogatory with: Duquesne

I had the sincere pleasure of exchanging dreams and fears with Thorton Mellon of the Duquesne blog, Bluff Divers. Mr. Mellon was courteous enough to share his thoughts on the upcoming tilt with Dayton. He explained why Dayton must stop Aaron Jackson, detailed Ron Everhart's affliation with the KGB, decided which four A-10 teams deserve to meet their timely demise, and states which former Flyer he hated the least. You can read the results below, or simply turn your head away and pretend the truth isn't right in front of your face. I can't decide for you.

This game scares the hell out of me. Duquesne plays a style that can quickly take you out of your comfort zone. If Dayton loses this one, I'm not sure the world makes sense anymore. I felt like last year's loss to the Dukes put the final nail in Dayton's coffin, and a defeat Saturday could send this Flyer team into a deep shame spiral. Put yourself in Brian Gregory's size 6 shoes for a moment. What are the keys to beating the Dukes?

Let me just say two things about last season first my friend. (A) The Flyers got hosed in not getting a bid to the NCAA tournament. When they lost that game to the Dukes, the Dukes RPI was in the sixties if I recall so it really wasn't a "bad loss." I would have loved to see Brian Roberts in the tourney for sure. (B) Dayton crushing the massively overrated Pitt Panthers last year was one of the season's highlights. It was the first really good opponent Shitt has gone on the road to play in the Howland/Dixon era and they got their butts handed to them. It just astonishes me that local fans can't understand why Shitt gets lower seeds in the tournament and always are an "early out." It went a long way to prove my point that Pitt and the Big East are good....but not that good!

The formula for beating the Dukes this year seems to be quite simple: Pound the ball inside, play an extended 2-3 zone, and don't try to run with the Dukes. The Dukes glaring weakness this season is their size and strength. Damian Saunders at 6-7 is playing out of position at center, and there is really nothing else there. If he gets in foul trouble the game will be a laugher and the Dukes will be completely dominated on the glass. The bad news for all of us BluffDivers is that there is no help on the way until next season, when 6'10 Kentucky transfer Mike (shortened) Williams will be eligible and Brazilian stud Rod Peggau is healthy. Except against Duke, in all of their losses (Pitt, WVU, and Old Dominion) they have been taken out of their game by stifling zone defenses and a slow paced tempo. They have struggled at times to move the ball and find shots against a 2-3 and this forces this very young team into a lot turnovers. That being said, teams cannot play man against the Dukes because they typically are as athletic or more athletic one-on-one at every position. Aaron Jackson and freshman guard Eric "whatch you taking about Willis" Evans can create shots or scoring opportunities almost at will. Against Bowling Green and last night against George Washington, the Dukes staged massive comebacks because both teams went man for some ungodly reason. Ajax actually was quoted after BG saying that he "couldn't believe they went man."

Ron Everhart looks like a former KGB agent. He has that steely stare and body language that indicates he has snapped a neck or two in his day. His mindset is to attack and let God sort 'em out. Last year, Everhart led the Dukes to their first winning season in 14 years. Duquesne was ranked in the top ten nationally in blocked shots, assists, scoring, and steals. What do you attribute this success to? Given their start this year, it must be more than a gimmicky offense. Hit me with it slowly, I'm taking notes.

The biggest complement you can pay to Everhart (his real KGB name is Everhartovich btw) is that his teams have always played extremely hard and that he typically gets the most out of his players. He really changed the attitude of the program from day one and he demands that his players will give 100% at all times-which is why walk-ons like Jason Duty see so many minutes. This is also why he basically gave A-10 rookie of the year Robert Mitchell a kick in the bum on his way out the door to Seton Hall, and really was not upset when Kojo Mensah and Shaun James left after one year.

When he first arrived on the Bluff, he cleaned house of all the slunk meat garbage the Dukes had on their roster and with the help of Bill Barton, and Kim Lewis (assistant coaches), the Dukes have really started to recruit better talent. AJAX and Keiron Archara were the only players to hold over from the Danny Nee era. Everhart also plays a very fun style of hoops: pressing defense, wide open offense, and lots of minutes are easy recruiting tools for those slasher type players who grew up on the black top. The Dukes, when playing well, are fun to watch and score a lot of points, which helps them recruit on a national level. A 2.5 to 1 female to male student body ratio also helps. I saw on your site that the Dukes remind you a little of those Kentucky teams under Pitino. Spot on, as Everhart and Pitino are good friends. Pitino recommended him for the Dukes job and is quoted in our media guide. Pitino's son was on our staff until this year.

Which Dayton player, past or present, would you have like to have seen in a Dukes uniform? On the flip side, was there a UD player that you hated with fiery passion? Please show your work.

Without a doubt Brian Roberts would have looked great in the Blue and Red....wait a minute....well, our blue and red for that matter. He was not only a great player who would have fit in well in Everhart's system, but seemed like a class act as well. A backcourt last year with Jackson and Roberts would have been almost unstoppable and would have taken the Dukes to the tourney for sure.

As far as a Dayton player I have hated, or currently hate, I really have no answer. When you are so bad for so long and have absolutely no shot of beating teams like Dayton, it really makes you numb to disliking other A-10 teams and their players. As the Dukes get better, I am hopeful that A-10 rivalries will start to develop and therefore garner some ill will...but basically when you average single digit wins for five plus years, your loins are pretty devoid of passionate hatred (except for the Pitt Panthers, Duke Blue Devils, and New York Yankees, of course! ). Its been so bad, I have actually loathed many Duquesne players and coaches for being so awful. Being an avid Dukes fan for most of my 28 years has really been a sadistic and masochistic affair! So, to not answer your question, I do wholeheartedly cheer for all A-10 teams to do well so that the conference garners some much lacking respect. Phil Martelli can go make sweet love to a sheep, but I won't get started on that. Oh yeah, at Bluffdivers we use cliff notes and don't show our work!

I will say this much, wait till you guys play UNCC. Thay have a point guard Ian Anderson (#11) who blows a kiss in the air after every made shot. Apparently he is a newlywed and its for his wife, which makes it just that much more gay. Its ridiculous. I think you play them on the road this year but if you stream on your computer or if its on t.v., you will want to drive to Charlotte and punch him in the nads.

Aaron Jackson--Ajax to the ladies, Mr. Jackson to his enemies, is a freakish athlete. Put him in Pizza Hut and he is making the most pies, put him on Iron Chef and he is going to embarrass Morimoto with his work on the wok. As a keen follower of the A-10, I certainly don't think he gets the recognition he deserves. AJ has shifted to point guard this year, what's your take? You likey, you no likey?

All things run through AJAX on this Dukes team, which is a very good thing as long as he stays healthy. Jackson has been splitting time at the point with freshman Eric Evans and Jason "he could marry my daughter" Duty, but in critical moments the ball is in AJAX hand. He is without a doubt the team leader and almost like a second coach on the floor. It is astonishing that he was not voted to one A-10 preseason team! Love the ball in his hands and his ability to drive to the lane and finish. His touch around the basket is unparalleled in the A-10 for a guard. His line drive jump shot leads him to be streaky at times, but as he goes the team goes and he always seems to be the brightest star at the biggest moments. He had two critical steals, an assist, and hit a huge three in last night's comeback against GW (who shot 80% from three point land btw) after a fairly vanilla overall performance. He is a very, very underrated defensive player who, because of his athleticism, can match up against smaller true point guards and power forwards as well.

Hypothetical time. Marcus Johnson is guarding Aaron Jackson so tight that not only can he tell what flavor bubble gum AJ is chewing, Marcus somehow ends up with it in his mouth at the end of the game. Jackson is Lehman Brothers, non-existent. Who steps up for the Dukes and makes up for Jackson's off night?

No need for the hypothetical, it happened last night against GW and really worked in the Dukes favor. Jackson and Saunders were asleep for about thirty minutes of the game and were neutralized defensively by a surprisingly athletic GW team. Bill Clark-my current arch nemesis-was in foul trouble the whole game (side note: If they kept stats on bad fouls and/or charges per game he would undoubtedly be number one in the nation!) and was on the pine for most of the second half. Melquan "Willis" Boldin, who initially committed to Louisville and is the Dukes first ever top 150 recruit, stepped up with a career high 26 points. Defensive lapses aside, he has progressed nicely and will be a candidate for A-10 rookie of the year when its all said and done. He has a nose for the basket, can jump out of the gym, and he really wants the ball in his hands. Fellow freshman Eric "whatch you takin about Willis" Evans ran point for the entire second half as Jackson moved into Clark's small forward spot and Duty had an off night on both ends of the floor. He sank seven of eight foul shots, an Achilles heel for the Dukes, down the stretch to ice the victory.

That bubble gum reference is of course from the movie Hoosiers. (Little known fact: in the original script, Chitwood misses the final shot and ends up committing suicide on Coach Dale's front lawn.) Let's say I host a round-robin tournament in my studio apartment. We got Hickory High lead by Jimmy Chitwood, Western University coached by the legend, Pete Bell, the five teenaged heroin addicts from the Basketball Diaries, and the Beacon Town Beavers led by a werewolf. Who wins the tourney?

As long as Happy Kikendorf doesn't fix the game and Tony passes T.V., Pete Bell takes this round-robin in a land slide. Being of Bulgarian heritage, I am now obligated to quote my favorite line from any sports movie ever and something I have always wanted to hear at a Dukes post-game press conference...

Happy Kikendorf: "Stick a fork in the creep! Because he's done! He's dead meat! You're finished! You will never coach in America again, you got that?! Why don't you try BULGARIA?! Hear they're looking for wimps like you!

I wonder if Happy knows that Everhart is a K.G.B. agent? I also wondered why they would pick on Bulgaria, considering its history of Olympic Wrestlers, Weightlifters, Drug-Users, Hairy Women, and World's Strongest Man competitors?

There's been some discussion on the blog regarding the possibility of cutting some teams from the A-10. I feel like you and I have become fast friends. Problem is, we have 12 other friends in our circle. We're getting older, time to simplify our lives. Let's cut 4 people from our group. Can't cut Mr. Xavier, he gets us girls. Mr. Temple has a great reputation and knows all the doormen. Mr. Saintjoe beats the shit out of tough guys when we mouth off in bars. So, who do we stop calling? I want the four names. Briefly explain your choices.

1) Ms. Fordham- the A-10's fat friend who you still wouldn't go home with after bonging a fifth of whiskey!- this is a horrible program that really has no shot of being good. While the same could have been said about the Dukes a few years back, they are a charter member with a storied history and are now on the rise.

2), 3), and 4) Charlotte, Richmond, and St. Louis....The Blue Collar Comedy Friends- They really seem out of place in the league. Not that they are bad programs, far from it, but the A-10 is the bye product of the EASTERN 8 (what a great league btw). These Budweiser drinking, NASCAR watching buddies really don't fit the Atlantic-10 school build. Plus I believe that with ten teams, you could play everyone twice which would heat up the rivalries and be good for the league.

Make a prediction. Dayton is 1-1 in the A-10, with a big loss to UMass, and a disturbingly close win over Fordham. The Dukes enter Saturday first in the conference, but those wins have come against the bottom of the league. Who wins? Give me the score and the game's MVP.

I like the Dukes to split with Dayton this year. My basketball knowledge warns me against picking Dayton to lose at home, but the Dukes have won there in the past (sorry if that stung a little)! I like the Flyers on Saturday. AJAX is a little banged up and while the Dukes are playing at a high level, I just think they are due for a down performance. I also think that the Flyers will be fired up to avenge last years upset and their experience will ultimately be too much for the youngest team in the nation to handle! Looking forward to the game, but think Dayton takes the Dukes by ten on Saturday. Love my Dukes coming back to Dayton on the final game of the year! Hopefully they won't damage Dayton's tourney hopes two years straight.

An Interrogatory with: UMass

I took the opportunity to ask Erik Gallant, of Minuteblog, a few questions prior to Saturday's battle in Springfield. We discussed the many personalities of this year's UMass team, what's inside Derek Kellogg's locket, how John Chaney kept St. Bonaventure from winning multiple national championships, and of course, the legend of Tony Gaffney. Feast your eyes below young squires.

(The incomparable Ray from Flyers Fieldhouse also posed queries to Mr. Gallant. Check it out right..........here.)

UMass appears to be one of the more schizophrenic teams in the country. Early in the season they take Boston College to overtime and beat Kansas in their backyard. However, there are some serious setbacks: a close defeat against Jacksonville State, a blowout loss to Green Bay, and back-to-back debacles against Houston (a 26 point loss) and Vanderbilt (a 30 point loss) heading into Saturday's game. What's the deal? What can't UMass seem to get on track?

It's a total mystery. Everyone has a theory, or else they've maxed out on theories and given up trying. My theory goes like this: Mainly as a result of the change in coaching staff and personnel, this team's identity is stuck in limbo. Kellogg is trying to build a defensive juggernaut out of a team that played no defense for the past three years. It turns out that's tough to do overnight, or even over half a season.

I have told my girlfriend that she is allowed to have "free-pass" sex with Tony Gaffney should the opportunity arise. I went with Rue McClanahan in exchange, she is still sassy after all these years. I fell in love with Gaffney during the UMass/Memphis game earlier this season. He was the only guy on the court who played to the final whistle and didn't back down from anyone. Gaffney is currently seventh in the nation in rebounding, with 11.8 a game, and is second in Division 1 when it comes to slapping a ball into the fifth row, averaging 4.8 blocks a contest. At just 6'8", he is an undersized center, yet we can mark him down for a double-double on Saturday. After struggling last year, what has been the main factor behind his emergence, is it simply increased minutes?

Nobody saw this coming from Gaffney. At media day prior to the season, Derek Kellogg was asked what type of production he'd like to see from his big men--responding to the conventional wisdom that UMass' frontcourt was going to be a weakness. Kellogg laughed and said something like, "Well, averaging 10 rebounds a game would be nice," as if that possibility only existed in his wildest dreams.

Lo and behold, Gaffney has been a beast. The added minutes this season don't hurt, but I think his emergence is a result of him taking the role of senior leader to heart like no one I've ever seen. I think he understands his role very clearly, and knows that the team needs him to perform super-human feats in order to have consistent frontcourt production. That's the biggest change--for the first time , it's all on him.

True story: I went to high-school with one of Derek Kellogg's cousins. Mr. Kellogg bought us beer one fine summer day. It was Icehouse if I remember because that's what the kids were drinking back then. Obviously, I have some affection for the new coach at UMass. What has been the general consensus regarding Kellogg? Is he trying too hard to emulate Calipari at this point? I see him walking around with the slick hair and mafia suits, and I feel like he probably has a picture of Calipari in his locket.

Kellogg gets a big cheer from the home fans when his name is announced at games, so the consensus seems to be that he'll remain popular despite the fact that this year's team is underperforming fan exceptations. The consensus on his abilities as a coach? The jury is still out. The win over Kansas silenced a lot of potential critics, though. Coming off a 30-point home loss, the performance of UMass will tell us all something about Kellogg as a coach.

As for the Calipari connection, Kellogg talks a lot about wanting to bring back "UMass basketball" to UMass, which as far as I can tell means playing like the Calipari teams on the '90s, but with a dribble drive motion offense. So he may very well be carrying that locket.

Bigger douchebag: Ben Affleck or Matt Damon?

Is it even in doubt at this point? Affleck by a mile. The Bourne movies bought Damon a free pass for at least 5 years.

I'm not sure how much you know about the current edition of the Flyers, but they do two things well: shut down people on defense and embarrass themselves on offense. What does Dayton have to do against the Minutemen to escape with a victory?

I don't know if Dayton has any oddball zones up their sleeve, but to this point of the season, the Minutemen have had a hard time figuring out how to attack zones, especially if it's one they haven't seen before. Otherwise, play real tight man defense on the guards and challenge UMass to go inside. This is becoming the blueprint against UMass.

Gaffney is the only Minuteman who can be expected to guard Chris Wright effectively, so if Dayton can lure him into foul trouble, that's probably their best opportunity to really pull away.

Who wins in a fight: Lou Roe or a mountain lion?

Gotta go with the mountain lion. Roe plays in San Sebastian, Spain, and I'm worried that he's spending too much time on the beach instead of training for mortal combat with large cats.

UMass relies heavily on its excellent backcourt tandem of Ricky Harris and Chris Lowe. If the Flyers can control those two, and I realize that's asking plenty of the Flyers, who can step up and have a big game in relief? (Besides Gaffney because we already assume he will go 25 and 18 on us.)

Honestly, if the Flyers control Ricky Harris they they will probably win. The only player you haven't mentioned who's shown the potential for a high-scoring game is Anthony Gurley, the sophomore guard who transferred from Wake Forest. Dayton may be in trouble if his pattern holds up; his point totals starting six games ago have been: 14, 5, 19, 7, 17, 3. So judging from his 3 point game against Vandy, I'll pencil him in for 22.

It's February 13th, 1994. John Chaney has just busted into Calipari's press conference looking to light some ass up. If Chaney gets to Cal, what happens? I always wondered if Chaney would have had to retire or been fired if he got close enough to swing, it could have shifted the entire landscape of the A10.

Butterfly Theory: If Chaney lands a punch, St. Bonaventure would have raised 5-8 NCAA Championship banners in the 15 years since.

Prediction. Flyer's struggle on the road mightily, especially in the Atlantic 10. UMass gets a chance to be reborn with conference play kicking off. What's the outcome of this one?

Every game this season has panned out opposite to what I expected, so I harbor no illusions about the value of my predictions. I'll take UMass by five in a low-scoring affair.

Dandy Don Dissects Miami: Interview with Dan Kukla of the Miami Student

I took the leash off of Donoher this week and begged him to pick up some of the slack. He actually came through and was able to con some poor guy into answering his inane questions. Obviously, the reasons people read blogs are for the serious in-depth analysis and great attention to detail. Donoher accomplished neither of these objectives, but let's give the guy credit for trying. He was able to get Dan Kukla, of the Miami Student, to discuss this year's Miami squad, Charlie Coles' impending death on the sidelines, and whether or not Wally Szczerbiak or Ben Roethlisberger impregnated more co-eds. Behold the carnage.

1.) Browsing through Miami's schedule, I can't help but notice that once again, they play a brutal non-conference schedule. UCLA, Pittsburgh, Xavier, West Virginia, and Dayton all on the road obviously helps build your RPI resume. However, if the Redhawks lose to Dayton, that will make them 0-5 in those big games. Do you feel that Miami's "anyone, anywhere, anytime" mentality hurts or helps the team?

The annual "schedule of death," as it is often affectionately referred to in Oxford, certainly has its fair share of both pros and cons. Unlike many of the college girls on campus, Miami's overall record rarely looks all that pretty before the calendar flips over. Yet somehow I don't think beating up on all the Wright States and Valparaisos of the world without consuming their usual dose of big time competition would do the RedHawks much good. It's already tough enough as it is for a MAC team to earn an at-large bid to the NCAA tournament. The last time Miami did that was the '99 season in which Wally World was still open for business in Oxford. Miami opened that season against Notre Dame, Tennessee, Dayton, Boston University and Xavier. If the RedHawks don't challenge themselves in their non-conference schedule, they give up an already small chance of making the big dance without a MAC tournament championship. More simply, although it's incredibly cliche, the schedule of death leaves the RedHawks battle tested entering conference play. Watching freshman forward Julian Mavunga go head to head with UCLA's big boys early in the season got me really excited to see what he can do against Kent State, Akron and Ohio. Playing the Bruins, in the cathedral of college basketball, to a one point game with under a minute left is a much more valuable experience than blowing out North Southwest Eastern State by 20 at home.

2.) At 7-4, this RedHawk team is starting to gel. Michael Bramos had an excellent junior year for Miami and this year, he is absolutely on fire. He is undoubtedly Miami's best player and if he keeps it up, will be the runaway MAC Player-of-the-Year. He can hurt you with outside shot (shooting 50% from 3's), but is not afraid to take it inside. Who else should Dayton be keying on for the game?

An unsettling trend is that when a team shuts down Bramos it shuts down the RedHawks. This season Miami fields the deepest, most athletic and well-rounded RedHawk team I have seen since arriving in Oxford three years ago. The Flyers, however, catch the Red and White at an optimal time with Kenny Hayes and Antonio Ballard both out due to injury. They typically provide most of Miami's dribble penetration, a feature this team has notably lacked since the graduation of Wiliam Hatcher. With those two out, look for Miami's offense to run through forward Tyler Dierkers. One of the most improved players since his arrival in Oxford, he will need to establish a low-post presence to draw attention away from Bramos and complement his perimeter shooting.

3.) Pretend that we are interviewing you for a job here at the Blackburn Review. What is the Redhawks greatest strength and what is their biggest weakness? How quick are you at getting cups of coffee? Can you answer 3 phones at the same time? If you could be a tree, what type of tree would you be?

For the first time in my stay at Miami, the most notable strength for the RedHawks is depth. While this is a little less relevant in the Dayton game due to the aforementioned injuries, there is no denying that the Red and White have legitimate talent coming off the bench. Another strength, obviously, is three-point shooting. Once again, the Hayes injury plays a role here as he and Bramos are typically a dynamic duo from behind the arc, but Bramos alone is dynamic enough. The classic weakness for Miami is predictability on offense. Especially with playmakers Hayes and Ballard out, its no secret what the RedHawks are trying to do with the ball every time they come down the court. I've been clocked at 31 seconds round trip for a coffee run (assuming no line). With blue tooth technology, I can actually answer four phones at one time. I'm not sure what type of tree I would be, but I definitely would be some form of an Ent from Lord of the Rings.

4.) Miami is #4 in the country in 3-point shooting at a 42.2% clip. Dayton is so far down the list at 28% that I cringe every time the Flyers shoot from beyond the arc. Dayton, however, is #2 in the country in defensive field goal percentage and #7 in points allowed per game. Vegas has set the over/under of this game at 85 points. What are you taking? Please tell me that this game won't set college basketball back 40 years like when Miami scored just 8 first half points and 20 total back in 2000 vs. the Flyers.

Wow. 85 points, really? I'm definitely taking the over. In fact, I am placing my bet right now. With Coles at the reigns, Miami has always been known for stingy defense and a slow tempo offense, but I can't imagine this game finishing in the 40

5.) Charlie Coles has been a staple in Oxford for many years now. There is no question on our end that Charlie is a great coach and gets the most out of his players. However, we are concerned about his health. This past spring, there seemed to be an article every day in the newspaper about Charlie's health and if he could still roam the sidelines. Look, we love Coles. He revs our engine and the stories he tells are legendary. But we equate him to stir fry at Bell Tower. Solid 90% of the days, but sometimes, you need a change. Do you think it would be beneficial for Miami to kindly ask Charlie to leave for his health's sake, or do you think they should keep letting him take leaves of absence that HAS to affect his team?

Honestly, I don't think it matters what Miami asks Coach Coles, regardless of how kindly they do it. This guy has such a love for the game that I really don't see him ever walking away, at least not any time soon. Since he won't go on his own terms, the only way the University would ever be able to make a coaching change is to fire him, but even mentioning that is blasphemy in Oxford.

6.) Tom and I developed an award called "The Slayer Award" which is given annually to the guy that gets the most girls. We lay awake at night wondering just how many conquests Rex Grossman had while at Florida (which in turn made him the 1st ever winner). Who would you give the Slayer Award to? Wally Szczerbiak or Ben Roethlisberger?

Um, have you ever seen Roethlisberger and Wally? This is a no contest. Big Ben had a great run here at Miami, but judging by his physical appearance I'd say he is a much better fit in Pittsburgh. He's made several visits back to the U and every time I always hear bad reviews from the ladies. Wally World wins this one without a doubt.

7.) We heard that there is an area at Miami called "the Ghetto." How on Earth does Miami justify stealing that term from Dayton's housing area? But to be fair, we have heard that your school's Green Beer Day's are epic. Can you give us a good story possibly involving some sorority girls? It can be made up.

You are very right on both accounts here. Not only does our campus have no right to steal "the ghetto," it really is no ghetto at all. And yes, green beer days are epic. One year a frat, inspired by our hockey cheer "delta, delta, delta...score, score, score," kept a running tally of how many tri delts they could hook up with in one GBD. They had a chalk board and even went as far as to make a point system: one point per base, bonuses for photographic evidence. The unconfirmed final tally was 62 points. Another good GBD story involves a drunk, streaking frat guy. As the cops chased him, he ran right past his clothes where the police decided to stop the pursuit. Instead, they grabbed his wallet out of his abandoned pants where they found his ID and all the information they needed for his future arrest.

8.) Lastly, let's have a prediction for the game.

Against all logic, I'm taking the RedHawks. Dayton has a better record, is at home and playing against an injury striken team. The reason I am taking Miami, however, is Michael Bramos. He is coming off of two down games against WVU and NWSU and I just can't believe this streak will continue. I look for him to return to his usual form and lead Miami to the upset.