To be honest I could post nothing but this Tweet and feel confident I’ve told the entire story from last night:

…but since we charge you guys big bucks for prompt, in-depth analyses of your favorite mid-major squad, I’ll continue.

Yesterday the St. Joseph Hawks flew their asses into the Decibel Dungeon already down three players for the season to injury, and had to take another two starters out because of illnesses (James Demery and Chris Clover). While this would normally be a problem for most teams, anyone with half a brain knows to never count a Phil Martelli squad out of anything. And thought the Fliers took home a 77-70 win and avoided another landmine, the game stayed neck-in-neck for a majority of it.

Let’s begin with the elephant in the room and get it over with:

I’m officially waving the white flag on Archie and his mind games. You win, sir. I’m an idiot for even reading or listening to the reports anymore and should know by now how much he owns the Dayton media (minus Jablo, who always stays woke). Earlier this year we got the “Kendall has a deep bruise and will be back in a couple weeks” one day to “Yeah, Kendall is out at least a month” the next. Then he comes back two weeks later. Or a few weeks ago with Cooke, “Charles will definitely be out for quite some time” before coming back two games later. And now, after we convinced ourselves that Josh would be gone until next year, our boy is on the bench in full gear and will “possibly” get some PT on Friday. I’m getting myself WAY too excited to see him and Kendall in a game together for the first time, but it’s fucking February and I got nothing else to do.

Now to the game. The first half was scripted exactly how 99% of our first halves go: start out slow as dick and play right down to the competition’s pace of play. I’m convinced the only way I’ll never have to write that is the day Blackburn “accidentally” forgets to pay the bills here. I’m also convinced I saw two of the most improbable sports moments of my lifetime occur in the past 48 hours. One being the Atlanta Falcons pooping their pants in front of the entire planet Sunday night, and two coming from DURRELL himself:

I had to rewind and watch that at least a dozen times. Who is this dude? This was was Baby D’s third straight game with three 3-point buckets. He wasn’t a complete slouch on defense either, keeping his feet moving and actually contributing to some good pressure on our end. The DURRELL Watch continues – apparently he’s reading our Tweets again. Despite Kendall and Cooke draining 4 shots and getting 10 points a piece, we went into the locker room tied at 32 thanks to a last minute trey from Lamarr Kimble. This guy – along with Charlie Brown and a few others out with injuries – are almost certainly going to be a big problem for the next few seasons.

The second half was a lot of back and forth up until the last few minutes. We’d go up a bunch then the Hawks would go on a 5 or 7-0 run and get right back within striking distance. I forgot how much I hate that damn mascot of theirs that flaps its wings THE ENTIRE GAME. In the end, the lack of bodies and pure fatigue did Martelli’s boys in early. Not even halfway into the second half he called a timeout because they were absolutely gassed. That said, Charlie Brown, Kimble, and Markell Lodge were “dem dudes” for St. Joe’s tonight. Brown finished with four 3’s, 5 boards and 17 points. Kimble contributed the first double-double of his career with 25 points and 10 assists. As for Lodge – if one of those two jams he threw down doesn’t make the Top 10, I’ll be shocked.A few other takeaways before we let you get back to reading all the political Tweets/Facebook posts in your feeds:

  • Schoochie was an assist machine (8). Anyone who watched knows his performance spoke way louder than his assist count + 13 points. While this is easily the most cliche phrase used in basketball, the dude absolutely makes the other 4 guys out there 10x better when he plays. Just straight up dragged his beach balls all over the place.
  • KP led the squad with 19 points and had three 3-point plays. Guy played his ass off and looks better every game. Hot Take: some of his fouls are pure laziness. “Oh it’s just him attacking the ball screen!”… no, it’s him not taking ONE more step to get his body on the guy and flailing his arm out instead.
  • The X-Man continues to blossom right in front of our eyes. Cutting up zones, drawing fouls, making shots. It’s always darkest (when Crosby is out there) before dawn (when X checks in).
  • Speaking of X-Man, the announcers informed us tonight that his name comes from a bottle of perfume his mother saw at Macy’s. Knew it.
  • As someone who has knocked the free-throw performances in the past, I gotta tip my cap to 15 of 18 (83.3%).
  • Phil Martelli is so well-respected that a local Dayton school invited him to come speak to their classes before the game. I have no other info as to how/why, but do know that Archie’s daughter was one of the students in the crowd. Weird.
  • We are now 18-5 and 9-2 in the A10. One more win gets our seniors the tie for most wins ever as a class. UD sits 1/2 game ahead of VCU and has a BIG game this Friday against URI, who took down UMass this week.
  • Speaking of which – if you live in Chicago and don’t go to Glascott’s for a Friday night Dayton game in FEBRUARY, you’re an absolute bore of a human. Place is packed to the brim this time of year. Just ask your boy and favorite podcast host Donnie about it. Come drink a hundred buckets and enjoy one of the last games there this season.

Stay LOWD. Holler at me: @KTuleta.

Comments are closed.


by Oldest
by Best by Newest by Oldest
Stonemills finest

This recap came quicker than a basketball player in bed with some white poison. I'm impressed! Where do I send my subscription $$?

Venmo a brotha

Venmo a brotha

Send it to "Matt Schwade Inc."

For winning this game, Dayton won the Curran-Martelli Plaque, which consumates the UD vs St. Joe's close relationship. Dr. Dan's son designed the plastic plaque and it was made at low cost/low quality in China. Both which are dear to Dr. Dan's heart. Poor Phil is wondering how his name got involved in such a low class scheme.

Do you think someone banged a gong every time Aidan walked into a party or a classroom? Similar to how a gong would play whenever you see Long Duck Dong in 16 Candles.

so much was said in this comment. +1

Best comment of the year candidate right here

Just about spit the beverage out of my mouth. So true. So sad.

even though the Cos avoided his out of control forays into the paint, Unless there is a better option Arch needs to start grooming double D to play the point next season and keep the Cos as backup at under 9 min/game.

HE PROMISES you're gonna eat these words.

since court vision/sense is not something you can improve that easily, I find that highly unlikely. so I pray that it is from the bench or as a shooting guard.

I can see Sam Miller going bye bye so a scolly opens up for Jaaron Simmons as a 5th year senior point guard from Ohio University (Kettering Alter's all time leading scorer, btw)

"Shop local" as Mick used to do....."Starting, from Dayton, OH......; starting from Kettering, OH......maybe not

Something has to be up. DDavis is finally finding his space and he had no PG game as a freshman when put in that role. Marshmallow or JC or both have to be heading out for a wild card PG JC transfer. Archie is already going off the grid with this Czech 21 year old gunner. Why not a 5th year transfer as well. Fuck it. Or he leaves a burning building for Anthony Grant to step in and fix.

Legend of Marko Pickar

Lost to St Mary... but at least beat St Joseph. Thank you Jesus!!

Fifth Floor of Founders

The best part of the behind the back clip was watching the ball bounce off Blount's face. Priceless.

The clip of Cunningham shooting around looks like his 1st shot bricks off the side of the backboard. Made me laugh.

Let's hope this montage of bricks was some crazy rebounding drill. Rebound JC!

Confused Chicago Flyer

Not tracking with the Glasscotts comment. Dayton bar in Chicago is changing or you are personally changing venues? Either way I need to know!

Glascotts is the play, Vines is talking out of his ass.

In Archie we trust.. enough with doubting his personnel. Two weeks ago no one wanted Baby D in the lineup.. Now we are saying he should start at Archies coveted PG spot next year?

but the Cos is a lost Cos, if he turns that shitshow around, he needs to quit coaching and move to the whitehouse in 2021. Arch for president. with his boots on the ground time in AZ, he probably has some keen insight to take care the immigration issue.

"Cos" ain't that far off bud

Cos once more came up minus in efficiency. We'd be better off with Bonsu, at least he's not depriving a more deserving guy if a Scolly. Cut your losses coach, we can't be right on everyone and we sure missed on this guy. Bring on Simmons!!!!!'nn

Crosby will be fine. He's got some crazy handles and the game will slow down for him once he gets a bigger role. If he learns to slow down, he could be a hell of a distributor.

its one game.. tough to come in off the bench and play well.. the kid is talented. have patience young patawon

Legend of Keith Brasswil

I predict that the Dayton vs Rhode Island game tonight will end with the refs giving VCU more time put on the clock so they can shoot extra free throws and win this game too......even though they aren't playing

I hope the free throws come up short.

Bob Brecha Straw Hut

No more recons?

The Sugar Diabetes

Here it is.

UD is playing basketball. They will play a team. Prediction: things will happen.

Now stop bitching about how shitty this site has become! We are trying hard.

The Sugar Diabetes

Here's the Rhode Island recap:

Dayton played a basketball game. One team scored more points than the other team. That team was called the winner of the game.

Blah blah blah. It's tough to write for this site.

A nice win tonight. MVP is Cros as he kept his absurd shit show on the bench the whole second half after crapping all over the floor when he was in. And his partner in crime, Marshmallow staid put too. I think he was afraid Martin with slam dunk his ass right though the hoop. Where do we find these clowns!!!

Incredible gut wrencher. The emergence of Durrell's new game over the past month is quite remarkable. I feel like Scoochie is poised to go on a Pearl Washington type old man game Bronx career closeout tournament run with Mother Pollard in his back pocket always seeming to come through in the clutch. Cooke has gone from A10 player of the year front runner to maybe third best on the team only capable of one-on three haphazard shit show bulldozing to the rim foul or flop craziness. If he could return to form, we may have something here if Cunningham can get back to the Alabama game type of presence. The Sam & Cos Show has to end tonight. Since they are snowed in tonight in Rhode Island Cos' mom should just drive up from Baltimore and pick them up and take them home. Take the shackles off of Trey!

Love the Sam and Cros comment. Wonder after seeing it every game how coach stoically press's on with these comedians. If Cros is running the show next year we are totally fucked. Looks stong, athletic, agile and like he's been playing the game for..... weeks! You know who's rooting for him to be our leader next year and loves to see him enter the game???.... Every other coach in the conference. They must be rolling in the aisles watching film of JC in action.