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Five For Flying

Five for Flying with Don and Matt


So here we are with another edition of Five For Flying. We had to have a quick turnaround on posts, since Mr. Blackburn wagered all of our paychecks on Manny Pacquiao. You learn to live with it, every family has problems, Daddy only gets angry when he drinks, etc.

1.) Matt: Since our last post, the Flyers went deep into the heart of Howard Johnson territory to do what the Flyers do in these scenarios: win. It really defies logic and understanding that this team can lose what should be an easy home game to Weber State, then, a week later, beat a decent BCS school on their home court. What are we, as fans, supposed to make of this? Maybe someone could arrange for them to start hanging out with NFL defensive backs, as the team seems to collectively have a severe attention problem. And then there is the Miami game. I didn’t get to see this game, as I was busy being an attentive boyfriend. The most analysis I can give, is that I nearly choked on my coffee when I saw the final score. I’m sure, somewhere, Charlie Coles was turning over in his bottle of a scotch.

11955187-largeDon: I actually spent about 2 hours last season (seriously) doing research on just how good these BCS wins were for the Flyers. I thought I had it saved in my Gmail but alas, it somehow got erased. Surprisingly, there were a bunch of good wins mixed with “eh” wins. The main ones that pop to mind are the Louisville, Pitt, and WVU victories along with the Kentucky win from back in the day. I have no idea if Alabama will make the NCAA Tournament but they have a solid chance considering the SEC, unlike it’s football brethren, is garbage.

As for the Miami game, I was in attendance. Not gonna lie, I kind of like the new opening that the Flyers have. As Adam pointed out to me though, they need a new song. Anyway, this isn’t our boyhood’s Miami team. I, for one, will miss Charlie Coles greatly, simply because he is such an awesome person. The thing I loved most about the Miami win was the 5 players in double figures. If the Flyers can get 5 players in double figures every night, well, they won’t lose too many games. They looked really good on Saturday.

2.) Matt: Unfortunately, it’s also that  time of year, too. The time when Christmas consumes our lives. Full disclosure: I’m a bit of a Scrooge. I hate Christmas music; I don’t like any decorations that aren’t plain, small, white lights; and I usually give people their gifts in whatever packaging or Wal-Mart bag they left the store in. The one thing I do somewhat enjoy about the holidays is the movies. So let’s run down our top 5 favorite Christmas movies.

5. Rudolph: Not really my 5th favorite, but I put it here for this reason: have you ever noticed how horrible the adult people and reindeer are in this movie? It’s insane how dickish they are. Santa himself is a total asshat to the little dentite elf (who I get the impression is actually being shunned because he’s a Jew).

4. Bad Santa: I love Billy Bob Thornton. Unabashedly. And the scene where the dwarf gets hit in the nuts and falls down in the most awkward way possible is one of the funniest things ever captured on film.

3. Die Hard: Yes, it is a Christmas movie.

2. A Christmas Story: The dad in this movie is what all dads should be like.

1. Christmas Vacation: The gold standard. This movie will never stop making me nearly piss my pants with laughter.


Don: I did this list a few years ago on the blog but I will try to do another list, in no particular order, without looking.

1.  Love Actually: I know this was on the other list because I am pretty sure people made fun of me for it. It is cheesy, it is girly, but God damnit, it is a great movie. So many story lines that will make you feel feelings. Bonus points to you men out there if you watch it, as your lady friend will thank you later with a BJ.

2. Elf: Blackburn hates Will Ferrell and therefore probably hates this movie. However, there are so many funny lines in this movie that it makes me quote them to coworkers. For instance, when someone doesn’t get their shit off the printer all day, I tell them they are a Cotton headed ninny muggins.

3. Christmas Vacation: Shitters full. Nuff said.

4. A Christmas Story. The Christmas tradition in my house. I too envision my grandfather being the dad in that movie. As for my dad, he too would probably ogle a leg lamp.

5. Gremlins. Who WOULDN’T want Gizmo as a pet? And who wouldn’t want Jennifer Jason Leigh as a girlfriend???

3.) Matt: While we are in the holiday spirit, let’s talk about another very important subject: Ass or Boobs. Lord knows in a perfect world, this wouldn’t have to be a debate over preference. It would just be guys saying, “How great are both asses and boobs?” Unfortunately, God must have only been dealing with one hand, as most females leave us only half satisfied. I myself have always been an ass man. Boobs are generally just something that happen. A nice ass usually requires some working out, which also benefits everything else. Unless they get all Arnold Classic on you. That’s not a situation anyone wants to be a part of. Then again, if a girls face looks like a five pound sack of ground chuck the raccoons have been rooting through, all the ass and boobs in the world aren’t gonna stop her from owning twenty cats.


Don: You hit the money right on the head. I am an ass man first (well, leg man first, ass man second) but tits are just simply an “added bonus.” For a decent amount of money, you can get fake incredible tits. Can you really buy a fake ass? You gotta work for that shit! A great ass is very hard to come by. In my mind, Kim Kardashian has a fat ass. And not in a good way. A good ass to me is one that looks good not only in yoga pants (obvious) but look good in jeans too. Fortunately for me, I went to Miami and saw plenty of awesome asses in my 4 years. I am sure Blackburn can attest to the ass/tit convo living in NYC…

pie274.) Matt: Since Don and I couldn’t think of anything better to discuss here, we decided to go with something near and dear to both our hearts: dessert. So many of them, almost all delicious, all need to be tried at least once. Today we focus on the most underrated desserts. I was very tempted to go with Pecan or Peach Pie, or maybe just good ole fashioned pudding (butterscotch!). Instead, I must choose rice pudding. I had never tried this delicacy until a couple of years ago. My girlfriend convinced me to try her grandmother’s version. It has been a torrid love affair ever since (with the pudding). I prefer mine with lots of raisins and cinnamon, but I have yet to try a version I don’t like. I think if it had a better name, rice pudding would be a much more popular dessert. Rice pudding just doesn’t sound appealing. It sounds like what they would serve Oliver Twist as a holiday treat.

Don: After much thought on this, I had it narrowed down to gelato and a solid cobbler. I flipped a coin and it came up cobbler. A solid cobbler with vanilla ice cream can do wonders to a shitty ass meal. Fresh out of the oven, melted ice cream on top — it is delightful. Unfortunately, it is near impossible to find a good cobbler at a restaurant. I am not sure how easy it is to make but I know my grandmother makes a mean cherry cobbler. I would learn how to make it but that would require effort, something that is not in me.

5.) Don: I would like to take this time and talk about my recent trip to the Columbus Hollywood Casino. I enjoy the occasional once a year trip to the boats in Indiana to get my gambling fix on before I go to Vegas. One would think having a casino five minutes from your house would be awesome. Well it’s not. As you can imagine, it brings in the shitty ass ghetto crowd, the fat people in scooters, and the asshole douchebags that constantly bet the “don’t pass” line in craps. Most of all, there is nothing worse than a shitty table at blackjack.

Which led me to think of something. I HATE playing third base at a blackjack table, especially with your friends. Just kill yourself when the dealer is showing a 4, 5, or 6 and you have a soft 13, 14, or 15. It is a classic double down but you risk taking that dealer’s bust card. When you get that 10 and the dealer then doesn’t bust, you not only don’t win but no one else at the table does either. You can’t get mad at that player because they did the right move, but man does that suck. I am aware of the “you play for you” mantra, but it still stings. Also while I’m at it, I HATE the whole “you always split 8’s.” I just. Don’t. Get it. If the dealer is showing a face card, why would I split my 8’s and risk losing twice? I just don’t see how this is a “good move.” I am terrible at math and I have been told it is the right move in terms of odds, but I just hate it. So the last time I was at the table, I kept track at how many times splitting 8’s worked. I counted 3 times in a shoe that it happened and the player only won 1 of the 6 hands. Doesn’t seem like good odds to me. Anyway, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Matt?


Matt: I love blackjack. Too much. Not too long after the Hollywood Toledo opened, we stopped there just to check it out. Nice enough place. Smaller than I thought. Parking was easy. Problem was, I only wanted to gamble with a small amount of money, because we didn’t have much time. When I play blackjack, I like to make it a marathon, not a sprint. Well, they had one table for 15 bucks a hand, and all the rest were 25. Oh, and I forgot to mention, it was Sunday at like 2 p.m. Half the tables in the place were empty, a month after it opened. I didn’t even sit down to play. If there was a 5 or 10 a hand table, I would have stood in line to get some chips (because, as far as i could tell, they wouldn’t give you chips at the table), and played. So what sense does it make to not have smaller tables that are full, than only large ones that are empty?

To your point, when I play, I play for me. I know that makes me the asshole at the table, but I don’t care. If I’m at a table with friends, I might take it easy for their sake. If I’m at a table with strangers, I don’t give a shit. I want to win money, and I am going to do whatever it takes to do that. Get pissed all you want, but I play the odds. I do agree though, that I am not splitting 8’s against a 10, unless i know the deck is light. Not to say I am any kind of card counter, but if it’s a 3 deck shoe, you should have some kind of idea.


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