Connect with us

Five For Flying

Bring Back the Colonels


Hello campers. The Flyboys went 1-1 since we last had a column, with a gut punching loss to Rhode Island and a season saving win against Xavier. What’s that? Are you not agreeing with me that the season is saved because of a Xavier win? You clearly must not read UDPride! More on that hilarious site in a moment.


Don: Anyway, February is thankfully ending which means March is within view. While the Flyers most likely won’t be part of the NCAA Tournament, they can still show us a little of what to expect from next year. While Dillard and Benson both had good games on Saturday against our Overlords, I can’t help but feel bad for Archie Miller. He is totally in a no win situation. On one hand, he has to realize this season is over and should be starting a lot of the younger guys to get them experience. On the other hand, he also realizes that maybe…just maybe…he can go on an epic run and make some noise in Brooklyn (if they even get there). I don’t want to be in Archie’s shoes right now, unless he is on his way home to get some ass from Morgan. Matt…what say you? Does Archie say, “Fuck it” and play the young guns or does he keep sending Dillard and Benson out there to continue their senior send off?


Matt: I think he has to see that even when this team is at their best, they probably aren’t going to beat Butler or VCU. So, at this point, he has to be looking to see how the guys who will be here next year will work together. My guess here is that we see Dillard’s minutes drop from 33 to somewhere closer to the 25-28 range, to give Price more of a look. Benson is already coming off the bench, so I think that stays the same. Maybe his minutes drop from 24 to around 19 or 20. I just don’t see Archie using these guys like role players, or back of the rotation guys. They are gonna play significant minutes.

The one thing I am curious to see, is if he is willing to sit them in the final minutes of close game. This is especially interesting, and needed, because of Dillard’s propensity for hero play. Plus, I am just tired of seeing Benson on the floor. Even when he is playing well, he seems to be doing it out of spite. I want him to pull a hamstring and have to sit out the rest of the season. I hate watching guys with bad attitudes, especially when they’re soft, and Benson is Pillsbury soft. We’ll see though. If they come out against UMass and play like they did against X, then keep the older guys playing and try to stay hot. If they come out and play like they did against URI, then start the youth movement. Simple as that.


Don: A commenter on our site mentioned something about John R Chris R over at UDPride talking about Dayton building a new arena and the city being able to support an NBA team. I thought to myself, “There is no WAY someone said that” but sure enough, here it is:

“Could Dayton support an NBA franchise? Cincinnati used to have one. I think the city could. In fact I think it MORE than could. I remember going to the NBA preseason game between the Bulls and someone else at UD Arena. Tickets sold out in like 18 minutes.”

I could say so much about these sentences that it could fill up this entire column. Sure, that Bulls game had Michael Jordan playing and sure it was one game. Sure, NBA games cost a ton of money, a lot more than UD games, and in no way would survive in Dayton. And sure, John R sounds like a legit crazy person. An NBA team in Dayton is a hilarious thought. Anyway, what I wanted to talk about was relocation/contraction. Clearly there are too many teams in the NBA and off the top of my head, I would get rid of Sacramento, Toronto, Milwaukee, and Charlotte. Since that is not going to happen, in your mind Matt, what cities would you put an NBA franchise in if they were to move. Here are my top 3:

a.) Seattle: A no-brainer. They have had a team before and fans showed up to the games.

b.) Pittsburgh: They support football and hockey and if their baseball team was halfway decent, they’d support them too.

c.) Columbus: Never will ever happen with Cleveland, Indiana, and Detroit being right there, but I think it would succeed.


Matt: John R must have the best drug dealer on the planet. I bet he is one of those guys who “shares” all those pictures on Facebook where “lottery winners” will give everyone 10 grand who “shares” it. Dayton supporting an NBA team is an absolute joke. You think Dayton is going to sell 18k tickets 41 times a year, at an average cost of, what, 90 bucks a ticket? Not fucking happening, chief. Dayton would, at beast, be the fourth city in Ohio on the list to have a team. The population and the economy just isn’t there.

I like what the NBA has in cities like Portland, Memphis, and OKC. The fans in those cities are diehards, simply because they are the only team in town. Works the same way with the Blue Jackets. So with that in mind, here are some cities I would love to see the NBA move some teams to (note: I would move any of — Detroit, Sacramento, Charlotte, Milwaukee, or the Clippers. I wouldn’t move Toronto, because they have a great, hardcore fan base. I would like to see the Clips get out from underneath the Lakers’ shadow):

a.) Seattle: Like you said, this is a no-brainer. Good fan base, should have a new arena fairly soon, already have the name and tradition in place. And as a Browns fan, I empathize with their fans.

b.) Louisville: A state that loves, really loves, basketball and baseball, but has no professional teams. This seems like a perfect fit to me. (Blackburn note: I’d vote for Louisville. Bring back the Kentucky Colonels!)

c.) Myrtle Beach: Basketball players love beach cities. Plus, I think this would be fun to watch.

d.) Las Vegas: Speaking of fun to watch. This needs to happen.



Matt: (Editor’s note: This was scraped from last week) So Steven Soderbergh says that after his latest movie, Side Effects, he is retiring from film making. He has had an eclectic and somewhat strange career. His movies tend to not reach the highest levels, but stay pretty far away from the basement. So which of his movies would you say is your favorite? I thought pretty hard about going with Traffic. It’s a very good, if not slightly overrated movie. But it fails to live up to one of my primary requirements: if it’s on TV, and I turn it on halfway through, do I still want to watch it? No, I do not. So I have to go with Ocean’s 11.

It’s odd to say a directors best movie is a remake, but his version is so much better than the original, it doesn’t even matter. It’s not a groundbreaking movie. It’s a cast of stars, well written, well shot, well acted, and well paced. It exemplifies what was so enjoyable about Steven Soderbergh: enjoyable movies. Nothing truly great, nothing truly bad. Don, I feel like you would go with Sex, Lies, and Videotape here, if you weren’t barely out of diapers when it came out, right?

Don: It’s definitely either Ocean’s 11 or Traffic. Since you went Ocean’s, I’ll go with Traffic. I have always had a soft spot for Michael Douglas and this is the last great movie he has done. Del Toro is fantastic in it, as is Don Cheadle. Throw in the fact that drugs and Cincinnati are involved and I’m in. Yes, if it is on TV I probably won’t stick with it. The Ocean’s movies (even the not-so-great second one) are always rewatchable. But if you go with acting, direction, and cinematography, Traffic blows everything else he has done away. The main question though, will anyone actually see Side Effects? (Blackburn note: I’m going to see Side Effects only because some of the scenes were shot in my apartment building. I’m a sad person) It looks kind of lame.



Don: I like to think that I am Joe Commoner. You mentioned to me that you hate Applebee’s and Olive Garden, which is acceptable. However, one of my friends was making fun of me for going to Waffle House for lunch. For starters, Waffle House is awesome. It’s cheap, it’s good, and it’s great for people watching. I know Blackburn would give his left nut for one to be built in NYC. (Blackburn note: This is true. Whenever I run into someone from the South we inevitably discuss a campaign to get a Waffle House in NYC. And a Chick-fil-A that isn’t located on NYU’s campus) Anyway, Matt, I assume you aren’t a snob and enjoy a good meal at the Awful Waffle. If so, what is your go to order for your hashbrowns? In my opinion, you gotta go covered (cheese), chunked (ham), and peppered (jalapenos) with the hash-browns being a little well done. I will not accept any other answer unless yours is good.

Matt: I am a red-blooded, fat, Midwesterner. Of course I love Waffle House. I think it is one of the most reliable chain restaurants in America. Think about it, how many times have you ever gone to WH and the food was severely worse than what you expected? It’s a lower bar, so it’s easier to clear, but they always clear it. They have decent coffee. The bacon is always crispy. It’s a great place to meet new people. And the hash-browns are the best. I like a double order, crispy, covered and topped. I also like them with nothing but some pepper on them, too. Flavored with grease and fatty, salty butter. Unfortunately, I don’t get to eat there often anymore, as my girlfriend is a giant snob and doesn’t like WH. She will eat at other greasy spoon’s though, so I think she just hates me being happy.  Blackburn has the right idea when it comes to women: they’re better with penises.



Don: This week’s hot or not: Cameron Diaz. I’m going to go not hot here. In The Mask, she was fantastic. (Blackburn note: Fact. Diaz was ridiculous looking in Mask, so good that she literally built a career off of it. Now? White guys won’t even touch her.) I’ll even say she was highly fuckable in There’s Something About Mary and Vanilla Sky (in that crazy stalker kind of way). But she is too thin, has no boobs, and sometimes I think she might have a penis. I’m not sure what it is about her, but it’s just a major turn off.

Matt: I can’t believe you would even pick Cameron Diaz. Who on Earth would say she’s hot, other than Tman? She looks like someone took a hot chick, stretched her skin all out, then let her go, only the skin lost its elasticity and now everything is all out-of-place and proportion.  She has never been hot, either. In There’s Something About Mary, she just seemed hot because they made her character into what they thought guys should want. Fuck that. I don’t want a girl who is more into the game than me. Who is going to get me beers and sandwiches? The roles are the way they are for a reason.

Don’t forget, this coming Sunday, we will be on the Twitter ( or @5ForFlying) live blogging the Oscars. So rent that tuxedo and get excited for some good old-fashioned Anne Hathaway hate.

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

More in Five For Flying

  • Turkey Day Bonanza!

    Gobble gobble bitches! Happy Thanksgiving, the best holiday of the year. Food, football, and...

  • The Post It Notes

    Another year, another season of Don and Matt (and guests!!!) boring the shit out of...

  • Foobawl!!

    Well kids, it has been a fun summer off for Don and I. I...

  • One Bracket Men

    AND WE’RE BACK!!! After a few weeks off for Don’s “identity surgery,” we are...