Another dispatch from Charles Little. Cheerleader threesomes, Xavier hate, Big Des love, it’s all in there. As always, please follow Charles on Twitter (@CharlesLittle15) and email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
• • • • •
I was watching 30 for 30 the other day and thought, hey I’ll do a 15 from 15 — so here are 15 things swirling in my head with a few emails answered.
1. Why is there a mosh pit and champagne party after every round of the baseball playoffs? At least win the pennant before you bring out the bubbly.
2. Lolo Jones is my dream girl. I love in shape women and she is beyond beautiful to me. I’ll admit I’ve been a whore in the past but I’d give up sex for her since she’s virgin (Can you say Internet porn?) If I ever meet her I’m throwing the kitchen sink at her.
3. Vanilla Ice has his own show on the DIY network. Seriously, what do I need to do to get on TV, there’s a channel for everything, let me be the black Anthony Bourdain on ESPNU or something.
4. To confirm a tweet from a few weeks ago, I did have a threesome with 2 cheerleaders senior year.
5. The Jacksonville Jaguars are my favorite football team and this season is beyond painful. Can we sign Tebow to at least give the impression we’re trying this season?
6. I’ve loved ARod since he was playing with Griffey and Randy Johnson had a mullet on the Mariners. I don’t really understand why he gets the book thrown at him but Mark McGwire can be the hitting coach for the Dodgers.
7. Whenever I’m down and don’t want to keep pushing towards being exceptional, I read The Alchemist to make myself feel better.
8. Long Live Johnny Football…he’s the cash cow who knows he’s the cash cow and I love him for it
9. Big Des is still my best friend in the world. He’s one of the funniest people I’ve ever met and the best bodyguard you could ask for.
10. One of my goals in life is to do things that are so amazing and have so much impact that the road my high school is on gets named after me.
11. 2 Questions from Michael P. : While at UD, what opponent talked the most shit with the least amount of backup?
A) There not much shit talking in college really, the lower level schools always talked shit when they’d go up 13-5 then BG would call a timeout, cuss us out and a couple of dunks later who’s talking now bitch lol.
12. Other than you know who, what team did you hate the most?
A) My basketball hate is singular. I’m in love with hating Xavier
13. Got this odd question from The Kid from Lowes: when you were playing, did you know this Swampy Meadows impostor?I hear he had a media pass and someone told me he would try to get into the locker room after games. Did this sick fuck try and find out who had the biggest cock in the showers or what?
A) I missed that. Had that happened while I was there I know a few shady characters in Dayton that would of left half of him in a swamp and the rest in a meadow.
14. Soccer is my second favorite sport. If I had picked up the game earlier I might have dedicated my life to it. I hope my son or daughter grows up and plays for the national team in the World Cup one day.
15. I love Coach Gregory, I credit him with saving my life in some ways, but we used to always kid BG stood for “Baby Gangster”