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Of Baby Showers, Jewish Dunks, and Fouls


I got an email this morning from Blackburn saying I need to write a recap of Saturday’s free throw shooting contest against Findlay or he will be finding my replacement. As tempting as that sounds, I actually enjoy writing for this site so I decided to humor him with a “recap.”

For starters, many of you might be asking why I was even at that game on Saturday. Well, Mrs. Donoher had a baby shower in Dayton and I had nowhere else to go. I have been reading articles the past few years or so about co-bridal showers, co-baby showers, and even co-bachelor/bachelorette showers. Mrs. Donoher knew better to not even suggest that I be in attendance for this baby shower, so I had to figure out what to do in the meantime. Looking back on it, I should have opted for the baby shower. Sure, all of her friends put on fake smiles and try not to look jealous that she is having a baby before them. Sure, they tell her that she looks great but deep down they think she is fat. And sure, they bought useless gifts that Marko Pikaar Maurice Beyina Donoher will never wear/play with. But hey, that’s the whole joy of being a girl, right?

So yeah, the game. Uh…there were a lot of free throws. Something like 96 total, maybe? There were 70 total fouls. It was the type of game that only a person with autism could have enjoyed. On the plus side, our two BCS tranfers led the way for the Flyers — Jordan Sibert pacing UD with 23 points and Vee Sanford chipping in 22 on 8-of-10 shooting from the field. Dayton shot approximately 60% from the field and hit almost 80% from the line, which even against a team of future substitute teachers is pretty solid.

Quick rundown:

  • A Jewish player on Findlay dunked over Jordan Sibert.
  • The Big Frog dunked and then proceeded to fall on his face.
  • The halftime show consisted of a freak family of like 10 people who juggled and spun basketballs on unicycles.
  • Adam won free chicken.
  • I heard a random 20-something year old dude mention the Blackburn Review.
  • There were no students at the game.
  • My dad fell asleep.
  • I killed my phone battery because I was Twittering and Facebooking the entire game.
  • I think Dayton won but can’t be certain.
  • I won’t be attending a Dayton game for a while. Seriously, is this season over yet?



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