Five For FlyingRecentChristmas Edition

Welcome back Flyer fans (and assorted friends and family members). We missed you last week because…well, because we spent two hours talking about Con Air. We only have so much pointless rambling in us in one week. Really, who’d have thought there is an end to our supply of bullshit? Not my high school teachers, I’ll tell you that. • • • • • [dropcap type=”1″]1[/dropcap]Matt: Since we last communicated to you, the Flyboys went 1-1,...
Freshman Report7 years ago812 min


Welcome back Flyer fans (and assorted friends and family members). We missed you last week because…well, because we spent two hours talking about Con Air. We only have so much pointless rambling in us in one week. Really, who’d have thought there is an end to our supply of bullshit? Not my high school teachers, I’ll tell you that.

• • • • •

[dropcap type=”1″]1[/dropcap]Matt: Since we last communicated to you, the Flyboys went 1-1, losing as a ranked team on the road to the Illinois State Cheapcourtstormers. Why they can’t manage to win as a ranked team defies logic and mathematical probability. It certainly sucks to lose the ranking, but all in all, it wasn’t a terrible loss, and the team recovered nicely with a thrashing of CMU. Dayton has five more out-of-conference games coming up, four of which are at home. That’s the good news. The bad news is that the slate might be a little tougher than you think. Iona, Winthrop, and at Ole Miss look to be tests for Dayton, while Murray State and USC are capable of pushing them. Luckily, their chances of running this slate has gotten better by Matt Kavanaugh taking a seat next to the walk-ons. This really is the most exciting development in Dayton basketball since Morgan Miller’s bikini pictures hit the web (i know that was very recently, I just wanted to remind you guys it happened. It’s cold and you need hope.) The Flyers now feature of a primary rotation of their 10 best players, with Frog as the third big man off the bench. It should have been this way from the start, but better late than never. Don, where are you feeling the team goes now? Do you think the escape these next few games unscathed? Does Kav losing his 10-12 minutes at the beginning of each game significantly improve the team’s chances? Are you just counting down the days until we get to see Dayton vs. Marshall Henderson?


Don: HOTTY TODDY!!! SSSSSS EEEEE CCCCCC SPEEEEEED! Yes, that is the game I’m looking forward to the most. USC should be interesting only because I’m curious if Andy Enfield will bring Amanda along with him and for halftime, she and Morgan have a mud wrestling match. Morgan >>>>>> Amanda by the way. That’s my thoughts. Iona will be a tougher test than most think (recon coming soon!) but I think the Flyers pull that one out. True story, totally just realized that the Flyers play on New Year’s Day…at noon. MID-MAJOR BASKETBALL!!! In your face NBE! In all seriousness, this non-conference schedule should test the Flyboys and that is fine by me. I still think they go unscathed except for the Ole Miss game. And with Matt Kav on the bench, life is good!

gameboy[dropcap type=”1″]2[/dropcap]Matt: The Christmas season is upon us, and I was trying to recall the greatest Christmas present I ever received. This was much more difficult than I thought it would be. The easy answer is my first car (a ’92 Ford Tempo, nicknamed The Fatmobile). In the spirit of the exercise, I want to think of the best gift I got when I was a kid. There was the guitar I got one year, but my parents wouldn’t pay for lessons, and instead opted for a VHS on how to play. Needless to say, I cannot play guitar. There was my first stereo with a CD player and my first CD (Tom Petty’s greatest hits). I used that stereo for about 15 years. Alas, the best present I ever got for christmas (could have been my birthday. They’re 6 weeks apart, both in winter, and I was young, so who cares) was the original GameBoy. It took four AA batteries, which lasted about three hours. The screen was green and black. I dropped it roughly 3,453 times, with no damage done to it. I reached level 132 on Tetris. I even broke it out and played it 5 or 6 years ago. Worked like a charm. No kid ever got as much entertainment or enjoyment out of a christmas gift than I got out of that game boy. The joys of being an only child for most of your childhood.

Don: Mine, by far, was the original Nintendo. I am sure there is video evidence at my parent’s house of me flipping the shit out with my sisters. I still have never been more excited. Even the birth of my upcoming son will not bring me that joy. Not only was it Nintendo, I got the power pad with it. The amount of time my friends and I spent on that power pad playing Track and Field cannot be tallied with a tangible number. Let’s just call it infinity times infinity. I too had a GameBoy, that was a fun gift. I remember also getting a TalkBoy (more on that later) which I thought was the coolest thing ever. I miss being a kid at Christmas. This year I got gift cards for food and diapers. Yes, Donoher Jr will be here before we know it. Poor guy is going to have a birthday right around Christmas. He is fucked! And now I am going to break out my Nintendo. I guarantee I can beat you, and any of our readers, in Super Tecmo Bowl. Go ahead and pick the Raiders. I’ll go with the Chiefs and run ALLLLL over your ass!

no home alone today

[dropcap type=”1″]3[/dropcap]Matt: So, during our Con Air podcast, you also decided to live tweet your viewing of Home Alone 2. This would be more acceptable if it were Home Alone. But to stoop to such levels for a sequel that is just a ripoff of the first is very objectionable. It’s like saying you like The Hangover 2 better than the original because the setting if different. Not cutting it. The original is a classic, full of memorable quotes and images, and was every kid’s fantasy. It launched a huge holiday fad (the voice recorder. I had one). It’s timeless, and should get the same treatment A Christmas Story gets every year. In fact, I want channels dedicated to showing Christmas Vacation, Home Alone, and Bad Santa for at least 24 straight hours. Home Alone 2 could be relegated to MTV2 or something. Next thing you know, you’re gonna tell me Saved By The Bell: The College Years were really the heart and soul of the series. Defend yourself, Don!

Don: This “voice recorder” you are referring to is the TalkBoy. And that was Home Alone 2. Game, Set, Match: Donoher!!! Let me count the ways that Home Alone 2 is better. New York > Chicago (I feel dirty saying that). The Sticky Bandits is a better name than the Wet Bandits. The Bird Lady is a creepier “friend” than the Old Neighbor. The booby traps are FAR SUPERIOR and deadlier than the original. Would the Wet Bandits be hospitalized and possibly die from their injuries from the first one? Of course. But in the second one, they would die many times over. Call it the sick fuck in me, but more death and harm to bad guys is right up my alley. And quotes? Yeah, you can quote the original but you can also quote the second. “SUCK BRICK KID!!!”  “Credit card? You gottttt it!” “You’re what the French call Les Incompenents!” OK, you might have me on the quote comment. But I stand by my choice. Home Alone 2 is better. I know our reader friend Matt Hager will side with you.


[dropcap type=”1″]4[/dropcap]Matt: This is a very simple question, Donny: Real tree or Fake? I am a real tree man. When I was a kid, we had high ceilings in our log cabin, so we would go out to a christmas tree farm every year and pick out a always-too-large tree. One year, we picked out one so big, our stand wouldn’t hold it. Because we are resourceful Appalachian-Americans, we made our own stand by taking a large Rubbermaid tub, some stove-pipe, and combining them with some Quikrete, We now had a tree stand that weighed about 400 pounds, and took every bit of young me and my step-dad to move it. Also, the stove-pipe was too small in diameter, so we had to use a chainsaw to cut some lower branches off and shave the trunk into a wedge to fit it in. You don’t get great life experiences like that while putting up a plastic tree you bought on sale at Ace Hardware in the middle of April.

Don: I always grew up with a fake tree so I am pro-fake tree. I do understand why people go real tree. They smell good. They look better. They are super nice. They are also annoying to clean up, to maintain, and to trim. And they always look good on the lots and once they get home, they are already missing their needles and dry out in the matter of days. I happen to enjoy my fake tree. It’s perfect size, perfect amount of ornaments, and the right amount of tinsel (or garland if you are European). During the holiday time, I go for easiness rather than huh…hardness? A fake tree can be reused for years and years. Simple and fiscally responsible. It’s the republican way!


[dropcap type=”1″]5[/dropcap]Matt: Hot or Not time.  In the spirit of the holiday, we are going to go with someone who was in my favorite Christmas movie of all time, Juliette Lewis. There are definitely times when she looks pretty good. Unfortunately, I can never get the images of Natural Born Killers out of my head. She is terrifying in that movie. No amount of kinky gang bang imagery from Old School can erase that, so I have to go with Not Hot.

Don: Not hot. There are too many times where she plays the slut that it just turns me off. I’m trying to think of a movie where she actually looked hot in and I’m struggling to think right now. I guess Old School? Maybe Starsky and Hutch? You nailed it with the comment on Natural Born Killers. That movie still gives me nightmares. Mainly because Woody Harrelson is so perfect of a psycho? The more I think about it, the more turned off I am with her. She sucks. Next!

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We’ll be back next week with a podcast for you, and we’re currently trying to pick a movie for our next movie podcast. If you haven’t started listening to the podcasts yet, head on over to iTunes  and click subscribe, and be sure to get caught up over the holidays. After that, go follow us on twitter @Conley76 and @5ForFlying. If you’re not on twitter, sign up, so you don’t miss gems like the whole staff deciding what we would do if we won the lottery, and us harassing New Big East mouthpieces.

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