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Road Trippin’ With the Dayton Flyers: Olean

Hey, Gang!  The 2018-2019 season is in full-swing, and while we are all familiar with the raucous confines of The Sweater Centre; many Flyer Fanatics will cheer on UD on the road.  Whether you plan on checking out the mid-major action in Olean, Philadelphia or St. Louis, we’ve got you covered!  The 2019 Blackburn Review Travel Companion is your guide to the best and worst destinations for this year’s road slate.

Olean, NY

January 19th

It’s that time of year, when our beloved Fly Boys head to desolate Western New York to take on the Bonnies of St. Bonaventure University.  As far as trips to frozen wastelands go, you could do worse than Olean, NY.

Illegally settled by Europeans in 1765, Olean was the site of an Indian Reserve designated by the Crown.  No one really cared, but the Indians were likely not happy about it.  Luckily for the newly arrived Euro-Trash, their smallpox, syphilis and influenza, likely wiped out any pissed off locals.

In the 1920’s, Olean became a popular stop-off point for the illegal shipment of liquor between New York and Chicago.  Al Capone was said to have been a frequent visitor to oversee the operation, continuing Olean’s proud tradition of syphilis.

Much has been made of the infamous Yeti who calls Olean home, but if he is spotted, it is best to quietly hurry away.  Unlike other wild creatures, making loud noises, making yourself appear larger, and playing dead, do not trick the Yeti; those tactics only turn him on.  As a pan-sexual being, the Yeti has been known to fornicate with all genders and species, earning him the nickname “The Olean Sex Beast”.  Throughout the years, the locals have increasingly embraced the Yeti and no longer fear the furry scamp.  He is often welcomed into homes and given his pick of the family as a peace offering.  Kinkier UD fans, like Beret Man, will be glad to know that the Yeti likes eccentric hats, so if he will likely be given a tour of the Yeti’s cave if they cross paths.

While he may look nice and the locals may speak highly of him, the Yeti is still an extremely-horny feral creature.  If the Yeti alarm sounds during the game, it is recommended that you find the oldest man in the Reilly Center and do whatever he does.  The old timers have never embraced The Yeti and the feeling is mutual.

When UD Santa isn’t watching the game at the petite Reilly Center, he can hit the slopes at Holiday Valley.  A short drive up the road from campus, Holiday Valley is loaded with people from non-mountainous areas who are looking to shred the gnar.  There are guaranteed to be many snow bunnies to leer at while drinking a hot toddy, apres ski.

There is a snow storm forecast to hit the area on Saturday, so if you are travelling to the game, drive fast and take risks.  That is the best way to avoid a run in with the Yeti; unless you are into that sort of thing.  Below are some other ways to both avoid and attract The Sex Beast.  His peculiar sexual proclivities have been known to evolve, so this website takes no responsibility for the accuracy of this list.

Stay LOWD

Reilly Center

  • Home of the Saint Bonaventure Bonnies
  • Capacity: 5,480
  • Opened in 1966
  • Has hosted nothing of note
  • Contains many NIT banners

Best Bar: Don’s Semi-Friendly Tavern

Best Restaurant: Beef n Barrel

Best Tourist Attraction: Holiday Valley Ski Resort

Most Famous Alumnus: Bob Lanier

Hottest Local: THE YETI

Local Delicacy: Beef on Weck

8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. isaacnewtonqb

    December 3, 2019 at 2:15 PM

    Say what you want about the shortcomings of Bonaventure the university, Bonaventure the man was badass. We don’t know the exact date of his birth in 1221, but the dude screams Virgo, because of his overactive mind, and, on the downside, his picky eating habits and inability to suffer fools with grace, earning him the nicks “The Franciscan Handful,” and “Bonbitchimo.” {Attribution needed}

    Typical were his many dust-ups with Thomas Aquinas, who ran with the Dominicans. Once such incident saw TA presenting his competing theory that reason could be found in God, which resulted in future Saint Bonaventure administering a Titanic Tittie Twister, the likes of which never before seen in the Paris regency. Aquinas was crowned the intellectual victor this day, but it was he who applied nipple salve that night. {Knowles, David (1988). The Evolution of Medieval Thought (2nd ed.)}

    On his deathbed, a delirious Bonaventure correctly predicted that an institution of higher education would be created in his name; an inconspicuous landing place for kids who couldn’t get into an Ivy League school regardless of last name or Library-wing-funding level of cash. And astoundingly, a good seven centuries before the game was invented, Bonny not only foresaw modern basketball, but also a team that would carry his name to late 1960’s relevance, how ’bout that? Some say he also said Mark Schmidt would be ugly, but beauty is in the eye of a very small sample size of beholders, we can only imagine.

  2. isaacnewtonqb

    January 18, 2019 at 3:10 PM

    Say what you want about the shortcomings of Bonaventure the university, Bonaventure the man was badass. We don’t know the exact date of his birth in 1221, but the dude screams Virgo, because of his overactive mind, and, on the downside, his picky eating habits and inability to suffer fools with grace, earning him the nicks “The Franciscan Handful,” and “Bonbitchimo.” {Attribution needed}

    Typical were his many dust-ups with Thomas Aquinas, who ran with the Dominicans. Once such incident saw TA presenting his competing theory that reason could be found in God, which resulted in future Saint Bonaventure administering a Titanic Tittie Twister, the likes of which never before seen in the Paris regency. Aquinas was crowned the intellectual victor this day, but it was he who applied nipple salve that night. {Knowles, David (1988). The Evolution of Medieval Thought (2nd ed.)}

    On his deathbed, a delirious Bonaventure correctly predicted that an institution of higher education would be created in his name; an inconspicuous landing place for kids who couldn’t get into an Ivy League school regardless of last name or Library-wing-funding level of cash. And astoundingly, a good seven centuries before the game was invented, Bonny not only foresaw modern basketball, but also a team that would carry his name to late 1960’s relevance, how ’bout that? Some say he also said Mark Schmidt would be ugly, but beauty is in the eye of a very small sample size of beholders, we can only imagine.

  3. The Legend of Gym-Not Barry La

    December 3, 2019 at 2:15 PM

    Flying to Vegas to place a bet…..Flyers lead most of this tight road game. And with 4 minutes and 4 timeouts left with plenty of fouls to give…..the clock simply runs out and we watch a 4 point loss to the vaunted Bonnies.
    Gonna come back a Multi-millionaire and donate it all the the Save Founders Hall Fund.

  4. isaacnewtonqb

    December 3, 2019 at 2:15 PM

    If Richard Matt and David Sweat had chosen the hills around Olean, they’d still be at large.

  5. The Legend of Gym-Not Barry Larken

    January 19, 2019 at 8:41 AM

    Flying to Vegas to place a bet…..Flyers lead most of this tight road game. And with 4 minutes and 4 timeouts left with plenty of fouls to give…..the clock simply runs out and we watch a 4 point loss to the vaunted Bonnies.
    Gonna come back a Multi-millionaire and donate it all the the Save Founders Hall Fund.

  6. isaacnewtonqb

    January 19, 2019 at 10:34 AM

    If Richard Matt and David Sweat had chosen the hills around Olean, they’d still be at large.

  7. K.lew

    December 3, 2019 at 2:15 PM

    Brooke Hall did a great job adding color to the radio commentating.

  8. K.lew

    January 19, 2019 at 7:12 PM

    Brooke Hall did a great job adding color to the radio commentating.

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